hi there, this may sound a bit self centred so i apologise in advance.
basically i just got dumped by my girlfriend of about a year and a half. we were great and really connected! but things took a turn for the worse over the last few months when we both started university and i moved to the same city as her.
i became too serious and heavy in the relationship which cause arguements and for her to self destrcut, i said and did some silly things, and she doesnt beleive i can change.
now that i have actually lost her i am now realising the mistakes i made which i could not see before, but of course its too late! the beauty of hindsight.
im trying to keep positive about the whole thing but deep down im hurting and cannot help my strong feelings for her.
i know she still loves me too, she told me that, but doesnt want to be with me at the mo. were both having a break from each other over the xmas period.
i really dont know what to do? to fight to show her just how much i love her through being kind and telling her how sorry i am? (this seems desperate) or to ignore her and let her miss me? or to be nice to her and keep things light and keep my distance? i dont want to fall into the trap of lets just be friends.
i want another chance to win her back, i may not be allowed that and may need to move on. but untill im ready to give up, i dont know what to do?
any adive will be HUGELY appreciated. thank you
Posted by ShortLivedTyranny (Member # 36627) on :
be nice and keep things light and keep distance.
Posted by lamp (Member # 19270) on :
That's what I've been doing. What about apologising? Should I make a sincere apology?
Posted by Diabolicus (Member # 7743) on :
Make a single and sincere apology, let her know that you are willing to give it another shot. If she needs time, just gonna have to give her time.
If you love something, let it go... etc.
Posted by lamp (Member # 19270) on :
i dont think that she is ready to accept my apology. i'll wait a little longer. we've just started on speaking terms again. its been a week since we broke up and there is a lot of high emotions flying around.
she broke it off with me, so i have to be incredibly carefull about not coming accross as needy or desperate to get back with her
Posted by GQguy (Member # 16534) on :
From a dude that was once in your spot and has had ex's come back listen up.
1) Figure out all of your insecurities that she was exposed to and fix them. I.E. if you're over weight....lose the weight. Jobless, get a job. Car less, get one. Lack of friends, make cool new ones.
2) Have fun! I reiterate making new friends and picking up new hobbies. Get in tunne with yourself.
3) Don't apologize for being what you are/were!!! What the hell. You shouldn't feel sorry. Apologizing will get you no where
4) Don't be mean if you do see her. Be nice and fun. Show her that you're fine without her...even if you cry yourself to sleep every night. She doesn't need to know!
5) Meet other women. Date them. Experiment different stuff. Hook up. Enjoy their company.
6) Get buff
7) Not sure if you're in college....but i'm the advisor for my old fraternity. Join one!! At least check out rush. Or join another club that will get you meeting people.
8) Don't contact your ex. Look at it like a battle of minds. Who can hold out longest. When you're confident again and upbeat and can handle the thought of her with another guy....you can hit her up then just to chill. Odds are if you aren't threatened by her new guys...she'll be intrigued. And try to seduce you. Especially if you've got your own set of women too!
As soon as you start to have fun again and forget the ex.....she will come around. Sadly for her at this point you'll have a bunch if great girls around with no time to waste on her! Either that or she gets married. One or the other. Oh....sorry to break it to you....but women tend to have another guy in the wings when they break up with a guy. Thats why it's so easy for them to break things off clean. I can't stress enough to you how important it is to get on with your life. Working out helps tons.
I've been broken up with once. And this is what I did. Recently she asked if i'd be up to have her move cross country to be with me. I said no. Not up to my standards. Every girl since then i've broken up with first. Chics will give you hints that the relationship is over: I'm too busy, i'm stressed, i'm confused ect. You break it off before they find that new guy and they don't know what hit them. You leave with your dignity...even though it'll hurt like hell. And the prospect of the two of you getting back together is still there....ironically even though she was about to break it off with you. You also send a great message saying that "crappy behavior won't be tolerated".
Happy hunting dude............
GQguy
Oh...one more thing. This will not happen overnight. It takes months to years. Depending on how soon you step up your game/confidence. In the mean time make out with and get pretty women to fall in love with you.
[ December 15, 2009, 08:42 AM: Message edited by: GQguy ]
Posted by lamp (Member # 19270) on :
Thanks for the advice gq!
That all makes totall sense. All the advice I see online & when I talk to people everybody tells me I need to be happy which I agree with, & they all say get over her. But this is the part I struggle with, if I get over her & get with someone else then I kinda think there wouldn't be much point in getting back with her!
Secondly I've already made big big mistakes. Number 1: getting angry, this is where I went totally wrong! and so I feel the need to give her an apology. I also begged, cried & tried to reason with her, & I know that this is why I lost my chances.
I bumped into her this weekend & made a huge effort to show her I'm chilled & ok! We got on great, she smiled at me.
She's now making an effort to show that she's ok! Putting confident pics on facebook, talking to a guy I got jealous about earlier in the relationship.
Now I think if she was really over me should wouldn't do that or try to make me jealous, I know she's hurt.
So what happened is i ignored all of it, everything she knew would upsett me & she text me last night asking for my mums address to send an Xmas card, so I was polite & light hearted.
Then this morning I sent her an email saying I'm seeing things clearer now & I agree with the break up. I just wanted to send a sincere apology & wish her the best for her future.
And now I'm just preying she'll miss me over Xmas & get in contact to say let's give it another shot! I know she still loves me, even if she doesn't want to.
I lost my temper when she broke up with me, she broke up with me wen I was drunk, there was no excuse for me to loose my temper. But how on earth do I show her I can change? I guess by just doing it hey
Posted by GQguy (Member # 16534) on :
Exactly!! There is no point getting back with her. But you'll figure that out on your own.
The hard truth(only read if you dare) Don't take her smiling at you to mean anything. Women are very good at smiling.
She's not hurt. I can guarantee that. Otherwise she wouldn't have broken up with you.
She not putting on an effort to show she's ok. She's actually....ok!
What would the point of making you jealous be? She broke up with you bro. She already knows you want her. It'd be pointless to make you jealous.
That dude most likely is her fall back. Chics don't break up with guys without a fall back. Unless of course he did something terrible that warranted an immediate break up e.g. cheating. Even then most would stay with the guy till they found a fall back guy or interest. Chics draw out a breakup. Don't call as much/always busy. Then she starts saying i'm confused/you've changed/i'm stressed/ I need time ect. Then if the guy doesn't get a clue she'll break it off.
I would love to hear about the cool new things you're doing. You see.....she's going to remain the same. She's not going to get better. You can! She's not going to learn how to cook, improve her style, go back to school, lose weight, make new friends ect. You can!
I'm 100x better than I was with the last chic I was in love with. I would dare even say i'm out of her league now....along with all of my ex's. That's where you need to be.
GQguy
Posted by lamp (Member # 19270) on :
Thanks for the advice.. I think a lot of what you're saying is right, but I do think she is not totally over me yet, I can just tell.
Nevertheless I do look forward to getting over this myself, I think I'll be much happier, & stronger & bette off with someone else perhaps!
Thanks for you're encouragement
Posted by DeadGoon (Member # 24278) on :
Hey guys. I guess we're picking up where we left off in the other thread? I remember talking about something similar I've been through recently.
But now I'm in a kind of a more unique dilemma. I'm more missing the friendship we had before we got serious.
But it's got me wondering, was she extra nice to me during our friendship because she wanted something more? Now I'm feeling kinda sad thinking that I can't have a friendship like that with a girl without it being because she secretly wants something.
Posted by GQguy (Member # 16534) on :
quote:Originally posted by DeadGoon: Hey guys. I guess we're picking up where we left off in the other thread? I remember talking about something similar I've been through recently.
But now I'm in a kind of a more unique dilemma. I'm more missing the friendship we had before we got serious.
But it's got me wondering, was she extra nice to me during our friendship because she wanted something more? Now I'm feeling kinda sad thinking that I can't have a friendship like that with a girl without it being because she secretly wants something.
I don't know your situation, but let me take a stab at it.
When it comes to relationships, there is a net amount of effort. Lets say 100%. To keep a relationship going the sum of the effort that two people put into it has to be 100%. So if one person puts in 40% and the other person puts in 40% then the two people lose touch...and stop talking/hanging out ect. When one person puts in 40% the other will usually put in 60%. The less one person puts in..the more the other person puts in to keep things going. Sooooo back to you.
If you put in 30% early in your friendship then she put in 70% because she liked you. Women secretly prefer the equation to be like this. Wimpy nice guys prefer it this way too. But i'm going to guess that at some point this equilibrium shifted....to the point where you were putting in more than she? Like I said earlier...women don't like this. Hence why nice guys lose their women to jerks, bad boys and real men. While women hate the equilibrium to be in thier favor...they will tempt a guy the entire time to try and put it in their favor...even though if they succeed they will resent you for it!
The crazy part is this. If one really care about their woman...they will keep their effort lower than hers. (GQguy has gon off the deep end!) Ok. This is why. The person that puts in the most gets the most emotion out of the relationship. They get the super highs and the lows. They truly are in love! Guys steal this from women when they put in too much. Thats why women leave them...to go find a guy that will let them feel this emotion. A guy that lets them be women and do all the cool things she's been thinking about doing for her man since she was a little girl and we were eating mud and worms.
How do I know...because i've been that guy. Super nice. Aloof at first. And she loves me! Then I start taking care of her(GQguy knows how to take care of a woman) and all of a sudden she's lost that lovin feeling. I of course had it at the end.....why. Cuz I stole it from her by putting in 70% to her 30%. I'm in rehab now learning the error of my ways.
GQ
Posted by DeadGoon (Member # 24278) on :
quote:Originally posted by GQguy: [QUOTE]
If you put in 30% early in your friendship then she put in 70% because she liked you. Women secretly prefer the equation to be like this. Wimpy nice guys prefer it this way too. But i'm going to guess that at some point this equilibrium shifted....to the point where you were putting in more than she?
Weeeeell. The friendship never lasted long. We ended up sleeping together pretty quickly, but I never thought I'd fall for her at all. I started to after about 6 weeks but by that time SHE was less interested
The whole thing just makes me wish we just stayed friends in the first place. Cuz she was a cool chick and was good to talk to. It all just feels different now...
Posted by GQguy (Member # 16534) on :
Ah ha! My theory in action. It's natural to be really into a chic. Your feelings could be 70% and hers 70%....but she must percieve it as 30% you and 70% her! However at the point where you fell for her i'm guessing you: told her how you felt, stop doing single guy stuff, catered to her, called daily ect. So to her there was a shift. As you put in more..she puts in less. Till you're at 60% and she's at 40%. At this point it is TOUGH to recover. The more you put in the less interested she becomes. Thats why it's important to be ambiguous about how you feel. Women love a challenge. And after your interest level peaked up....you were no longer a challenge. She likes you...but she wants a guy to challenge her...hence why the relationship ended.
To get your girl back..... It is not easy..... But she must realize deep deep down that she can't have you in the way she had you before. She must realize that other women...some better than her have had and want you. She must feel that you are happier without her. She must feel that you have grown into a real man that she has to work ultra hard to get. And ohh when she finally get you it will be heaven on earth for her( every woman wants this....along with every nerdy nice guy). Of course there is self doubt which makes the emotions for her even more powerfull. You pay enough attention to her of course to give her a glimer of hope. Then when you have her...you keep her on her toes.
Could take months..... Could take years......
GQguy
Posted by Panic (Member # 21074) on :
simply put...move on it can never be the same as it was. Sorry to be pessimistic about it; My experiences taught me that.
Posted by Panic (Member # 21074) on :
ps...GQguy is right
Posted by DeadGoon (Member # 24278) on :
Heh heh. Nothing to be pessimistic about. Once you REALLY 'move on' (as in get over it) you're happy to simply BE!
PS I'm done with relationships anyway. This fling I had was a total accident and caught be by surprise. Though I am getting better at seeing the warning signs and avoiding them. Next time a chick shows interest I have some good ideas of how to steer clear of her now Posted by GQguy (Member # 16534) on :
quote:Originally posted by DeadGoon: Heh heh. Nothing to be pessimistic about. Once you REALLY 'move on' (as in get over it) you're happy to simply BE!
PS I'm done with relationships anyway. This fling I had was a total accident and caught be by surprise. Though I am getting better at seeing the warning signs and avoiding them. Next time a chick shows interest I have some good ideas of how to steer clear of her now
????? This wasn't my point 'sigh'. Why avoid women? This behavior will leave you as you are presently. Engage what you fear and desire.
Posted by DeadGoon (Member # 24278) on :
Not really avoid women. More relationships. I just feel life is cruizier when single. You feel ok. People seem more or less ok. Everything's nice and casual and not too much of a drama. And you can be genuine with people without too much pressure and expectation from them. You have a lot more control over your life and a sense of autonomy.
I guess I like the freedom?
Posted by lamp (Member # 19270) on :
Hey thanks for everyone insights. In particular I'd like to thank gq guy for taking the time to help me and others in a similar position and lack of self confidence.
You see the part where I struggle is I have this deep down urge to wanna settle down with a really nice girl, I don't know why, or if it's in my nature or just because I'm insecure or lazy.
My previous relationship was very intense & in hindsight I shouldn't have been such a wuss & put all my time and energy into it, but it's so hard when a serious relationship is what I want.. It comes with great bennefits as regular sex & foot stuff too.
I can get over this girl eventually, I'm trying really hard, & I even know deep down if i loose interest in her she's gonna regret it.
But what happens with the next girl? She might be even better for me. Great! But then I fall in love again & I'm just trapped there in the spiders web ready for when that girl changes her mind. Cos let's face it, what girl really knows what she wants? If there is one like me then please show her to me.
I apologize for letting emotions get the better of me. It's Christmas day & I just feel sad for many reasons. I'm sorry
Posted by DeadGoon (Member # 24278) on :
Nah that's ok lamp. I iknow how it is. I've been having up and down days lately. It's slowly getting better.
I'm hoping she's at least acting consistent with you. There would at least be a level of trust.
The thing with me presently is that I don't know if I even trust this girl as a friend. Like, if I do something like delete her from Facebook she chucks a total stink like our friendship is somehow important to her.
But is it just an ego thing with her?
I don't know!!
Posted by GQguy (Member # 16534) on :
quote:Originally posted by DeadGoon: Nah that's ok lamp. I iknow how it is. I've been having up and down days lately. It's slowly getting better.
I'm hoping she's at least acting consistent with you. There would at least be a level of trust.
The thing with me presently is that I don't know if I even trust this girl as a friend. Like, if I do something like delete her from Facebook she chucks a total stink like our friendship is somehow important to her.
But is it just an ego thing with her?
I don't know!!
Yes. It is. Don't worry about her. Do what you need to, to get over her. If seeing her status updates will ruin your day....delete her. Women (people)love the idea that she can have you anytime she wants. Especially the ones that are jacked up. You deleting her is just one step towards autonomy. Her frustration is the fact that there could be negative consequences for her actions. Duh right?
The recovery is slow bro. I'm seeing new women myself but i'm still tempted to shoot her a "merry christmas" text and check up on her facebook page. You know what? I didn't send her that text....but she didn't send me one either. Had I sent it...it wouldn't have helped build attraction.
I'm starting to get back to my old self before the rose colored glasses. I forsee vegas trips, spring break hot hookupos and pool parties.
Don't trust her as a friend. You know how much integrity she has. Only keep her close if she can't hurt you.
Posted by lamp (Member # 19270) on :
Gq you are full of great advice. My ex did text me on Christmas & it nearly spoilt my day! we made some small and polite chat.
Now she is going to be in the same town as me for a few days, not only that but we're both going to the same place for new years eve.. I'm really gonna have to get prepared for this night.
I know she also wants to be "friends" with me. Do you have any advice say if she wanted to hang out as a friend? Or what I should do on new years eve?!
Thanks
Posted by GQguy (Member # 16534) on :
Women get a confidence boost by knowing that they have admirers. Hence why women post pics on here. And why women want to be friends with the nice guy she just dumped. If she ever feels lonely or down she can hit up one of these guys for a confidence boost...at the expense of course of the guy.
Sounds like trouble to me bro. Could you handle seeing her kiss some other dude as the ball drops? If you can great! Go to the party and have a blast. If not.....I suggest you do something else because that won't be fun and will kill your night.
Sort of sad.....but I always assume a girl is hooking up with other guys till she goes out of her way otherwise. This way i'm pleasantly surprised when I discover she's not....and i'm cool as a cucumber if I find out she is.
As for hanging out as friends.....Dude. Be real with yourself. You don't want to just be friends. You want to kiss her and do all of the fun romantics stuff you used to do....right? You'd just be killing yourself chillin with her. Only do the friend thing when you're completely over her...as in when you reach a point where seeing her with another dude that treats her well would actually please you. Then you two can be friends...ironically at that point she will want you. Of course you won't want her. Then you can keep her around on standby.
Ok. So I suggest for NYE you don't go to the same spot.If you do, go with a date or at least a big group of girls. You don't want to be the dude in the bathroom stall crying cause you saw your ex making out with some douche bag.
If she wants to chill as friends....just blow her off. "I'm too busy" "Maybe next week!" "Hope things are well" "just took up (insert awesome activity here) and it's taking up all my time" "helping a buddy with her homework" "helping a buddy by being her dance partner"
All of this will make her want you more. Why. Because it's a sign you're moving on....and she would rather have you on standby..ready to chill or talk whenever she beckons.
hope that shed some light on your scenario
Posted by lamp (Member # 19270) on :
gq that has shed lots of light on my scenario.
you see a few weeks ago i would have done anything for her, now im trying my hardest to take my life back.
i'll admitt, and im slightly ashamed that im really depressed about it, i find everyday a struggle. around 5 oclock everyday for some reason i start to cry.
its pathetic and self pitying, its just a girl for christ sake, but i cant help how i feel. and i am doing a good job of shutting her out.
if she contacts me to hang out i will say no.
as for new years eve, i have A LOT of friends going there, and a lot of people expecting me to be there. so if i dont go, it makes me look like a wuss. if i can go and have a great time and avoid her then thats great. but if i dont go, it makes it look like i cant bear to be around her, and shes won!
Posted by lamp (Member # 19270) on :
the other thing that is really killing my mind is that a few days before we broke up we had the most amazing sex!
i dont know what i cant stop thinking about it. and whenever i look at porn or anything i can help thinking about her.
at least i can say that i left her feeling satisfied too. maybe the thought of her getting with someone else is something i have to come to terms with. she has a 3 year daughter, and this is something that puts a lot of guys off, everybody i speak to says that i had a lot of balls to get with her and that they wouldnt be able to do it.
we're both 23 years old. infact thinking about it logically, its a bad bad idea to get back with her probably for that reason alone. when i find someone new im gonna be much better off. just gotta get through this stage.
a lot of what youre saying gq is sinking in. and i really appreciate your help
Posted by GQguy (Member # 16534) on :
The crying stuff is fine. Just don't let her know. It'll subside soon. Go have a blast new years. I'm thinking about heading down to San Diego myself. Something different.
Just found out the last girl I was dating and was really into has a new boyfriend. So much for her excuse of "i'm super busy and stressed now". I read right through and tried to break it off...but she wouldn't let me. Won't make that mistake again. But it's cool though. I'm highly motivated. Gonna run four miles, lift, play some ball then come home grill some chicken and right a bunch of policy memos to ensure that I kick ass at my job. I needed a lil kick in the pants and now I got it.
Wish you luck bro. I feel your pain here too!
Posted by lamp (Member # 19270) on :
Cheers gq, I'm glad to hear you're getting on with life and not letting her get you down.
I have to admit I'm struggling..
I'm not really sure what to do new years eve. I think I may just avoid this party but she might think I'm a total wuss. Who knows, maybe I'll pluck up the courage.
Hope everyone else has a good new year!
Posted by GQguy (Member # 16534) on :
Do what's best for you bro. Screw what anyone else thinks. Besides....everyone will be too busy partying to really care. You're single now bro...so take care of number one!
Posted by DeadGoon (Member # 24278) on :
Heh heh... ok then. Ok. Ok. Ooooooookaaaaay.
Right... um...
*cough!*
Not sure why I get punished for trying to see the best in people, but I thought I'd just go along with the 'friends' thing.
But it looks like she sees it as an excuse to be even more inconsiderate.
I'm a little freaked out by this. These women who act like they're so pure of heart and incapable of such behaviour and it shakes me up when you see something you don't expect.
Why pretend to be someone you're not? Why decieve people? I mean. You can do it a LITTLE BIT without hurting people to get through life. I'm doing quite well with that myself.
Ok then. Time to start working on my future battle plan.
Posted by GQguy (Member # 16534) on :
quote:Originally posted by DeadGoon: Heh heh... ok then. Ok. Ok. Ooooooookaaaaay.
Right... um...
*cough!*
Not sure why I get punished for trying to see the best in people, but I thought I'd just go along with the 'friends' thing.
But it looks like she sees it as an excuse to be even more inconsiderate.
I'm a little freaked out by this. These women who act like they're so pure of heart and incapable of such behaviour and it shakes me up when you see something you don't expect.
Why pretend to be someone you're not? Why decieve people? I mean. You can do it a LITTLE BIT without hurting people to get through life. I'm doing quite well with that myself.
Ok then. Time to start working on my future battle plan.
Dude. This was huge for me. When it comes to women "No good deed goes unpunished". Pretty much the nicer you treat a woman...the more shit you will get.Crazy!! I couldn't believe it till i analyzed it. My game is great. Odds are if I take a girl out...i'll sleep with her. Nice. But I hit a road block. The chics i'd be with always lost interest before I did/do. What I did wrong? I was too nice. I was "perfect". Every ex has called me that. No bueno. Going out of your way to please a girl at your expense is not romantic. Done every once in a while. Ok. But refrain. It's tough. Don't offer. Let her ask. I prefer to be nice...it's my comfort zone. I think subconsciously i felt I had to be nice to compensate for my shortcomings. But refraining is a risk that i'm going to take....and i'm certain will bring success. a lil off topic.
Chics like to see themselves as great. As do we. And they are..but there can only be one great/nice one in a relationship. As the man...we have to be the "bad guy" to an extent of course. Ok. So stop being the victim. You're a man that makes shit happen. Shit doesn't happen to you. Reread that last line. Then again. Women are emotional. Not logical. She can care less about how you feel. Every girl wants to feel like a great person. Having a guy around that isn't "better" than them gives them that illusion. Ok.
Friend zone. You/we lost our women because they weren't attracted. Doesn't make sense but is the truth. Of course they want to be friends just in case they were wrong and or because they "like" you. "Like" isn't love or attraction. She's going to live her life though...even if that means holding her new dudes hand in front of you. How you win though is by being unaffected. Having fun and meeting new women.
Posted by lamp (Member # 19270) on :
gq, i dont know you personally but i'd like to say that you are exactly on the money.
just as you predicted my ex has now started seeing an old flame. she told me before new years eve, only 3 or 4 weeks since we broke up. i now get the pleasure of seeing plenty of photos of them on facebook, along with sexy photos of herself trying to make me jealous.
to think i thought she was the love of my life. i cared for her and did everything for her. look where it got me.
the thoughts and encouragement youve posted on here have helped get me through a tough time. thanks so much.
also, another interesting thing. since ive now started ignoring her, and not giving into my emotions, she now seems interested in talking to me, or at least looking for a reaction. she's not gonna get it.
ive been absolutely devastated by what happened, she has no idea, im not gonna tell her. im even going to see a councilor to try and get through this and also adress other issues with myself. i cant wait to get through this and find a decent girl that i can get it right with next time
Posted by GQguy (Member # 16534) on :
Lamp, Wish I wasn't right bro. Focus on bettering yourself. Look at the scenario as a blessing. While i've been in your boat numerous times I must say that with each successive woman I have jumped leagues. As in the women I date now are FAR better than the ones in the past. Because I stepped up my game.
Acknowledge the mistakes you made here. There were plenty. Then fix them. Own them. Don't repeat them. Your next relationship will be that much better. And the next time the exact twin of your girl comes by...you wouldn't even look twice at her because you'd be better than her.
Posted by lamp (Member # 19270) on :
great advice again gq.
since i last posted ive made a huge effort to sort myself out, ive joined a gym, started counciling, trying really hard to get back into my routine and forget about all of this.
since ive now started letting go, i now find my ex getting back in contact with me!! she tells me that this fling of hers with another guy hasnt worked out, and now she keeps contacting me in subtle ways through things like facebook etc. and seems almost flirtatious.
my initial reaction was great she could be interested, but now i feel a bit more concerned that i need to be careful. im willing to give things another shot and trust her again, but for now im not so sure, or so sure what to do?
do you think i should go along with it and flirt back etc.? or should i resist the temptation. im still interested in meeting other girls
Posted by GQguy (Member # 16534) on :
Gauge yourself bro. You're winning. Keep everything up: the joining the gym ect. Actually do more. Dress up your style. Buy clothes that the cool guys wear(if you already don't).Join a yoga class, or a dance class a women's studies class. A class where you can meet lots of women. Make some new female friends. And date other women. Then you can start dating your ex again..IF YOU WANT. But you know her already and what she will do if she starts to lose interest. She's gone down that road already so who's to say she won't again? Make her one of many women in your life and if she does it again....no burn. If she works harder than all the other women in your life then slowly start to trust her. But make her work harder than everyone else. You know where her integrity is...low....so you can assume that the other girls are higher.
But be very careful. Have you seen the movie "Swingers"?
I'm highly impressed bro! I bet this is a big confidence boost...and judging by your efforts is well deserved. Bravo!! You can make me your best man if you two hook up again. I wear a 42L tuxedo jacket ;o)
GQ
Posted by lamp (Member # 19270) on :
haha, GQ youre a dude...
you should be one of those guys that sells expert dating advice online, and posts videos on how to make guys feel great!
again, i think youre advice is sensible. too many times have i gone down that road of chasing an ex girlfriend and it lead me nowhere, so this time im doing it different.. still having my low points but im gonna be that guy that girls chase! it will be better that way.
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