quote:

---

It's this kind of stuff that leaves girls like me with no self-esteem... inevitably, I think guys just need to grow up and act their age, not their shoe size.

---

That's what kept running through my mind as I read the comments on those blogs. I kept wondering how these trash-talking losers would feel if they saw Raven Riley actually cry over some of that shit...not that she would, but you never know how somebody is going to take comments slung their way. I can only hope that Raven and other girls who get made fun of by these types of guys, guys who ultimately fear women and hate women for whatever petty reasons they think they have, just consider the sources and don't hold us guys as a whole in contempt for it.

I know I'm pretty old-fashioned in a lot of ways, but I tend to think that we as men need to sort of "look out" for the fairer sex. You know, just have a damned SENSE of chivalry and at least act accordingly. I know how feminism has royally screwed both men and women up over time, but I think it's sad that things have come this extremely far! Time was when a guy would take his coat off and throw it over a mud puddle if he saw a girl had to cross over it, whether he knew her or not...now there's guys out there that would purposefully splash the mud on the girl!

MissMcKenzie, I'm sorry that you have had to deal with this sort of crap yourself. Just rest assured that these kinds of "men" are usually the exception, not the rule, thank God.
 

---

Posted by ilikesoftpeds (Member # 9269) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by MissMcKenzie:
Well I must admit, I've pretty much given up on guys, just because the single ones in my age group all seem to be like that. I guess that's what I get for being a college girl...
As far as chivalry goes, I think it all comes down to one thing: respect. I think it should be requirement for all guys to think about what it would be like if girls rejected all men because they weren't getting respect. They would have to either get very used to their hand or get over their homophobia. I'm not exactly big on guys getting out of the car, walking to my side, opening my door, etc. for me, but if I'm cold, I expect them to say "do you want my jacket?" I've gotten into fist fights with guys, and I could probably break a bone if I kicked someone and meant it, and I'm not exactly a delicate flower, but seriously, is a little respect too much to ask for?

---

Man I'm up late...

MissMcKenzie, please don't give up on all guys.
There are some of us that are actually nice and respect nice women.

And to be honest, I have met and known male and female jerks. Gender isn't an issue.
It is just that people don't seem to be as "sweet" as they used to be, in general.

But there are some genuine, nice people out there- you just have to dig for them sometimes!

MissMcKenzie, I got the impression that the guy that posted your story is your boyfriend??

If not, you have us for "online" boyfriends.

 

---

Posted by scarlet (Member # 2117) on :
 
Yeah I hate attitudes like that. I am also apart of another web forum. A non foot related one. The people on that forum are general jackasses and i'm not sure why I visit it at all.

As far as I can tell, those attitudes are that of jealousy spewing forth from single or lonely guys that are too timid to try for a girl that looks remotely like the ones they comment to and their only method of self preservation on the subject is to royally bash them.

For reference, Daemoness started posting a few times on this forum I mention, and the guys there(of course) said she wasn't that good looking. Yet if you look at the pictures of them, they are fat computer programmers whose wives are more manly than they are.
 

---

Posted by Ben Del Amitri (Member # 2724) on :
 
Hello Lou -

I've noticed this as well and there are girls from my own site who get grief from guys out there sometimes. The cosmic joke in all of this though, is that the guys who are doing these things:

1. Have never had a girlfriend of their own
2. Have never so much as SPOKEN with a real girl like the one they are trashing
3. Have never had a date with a real girl
4. Can NOT GET a date with real girl
5. Have no life
6. Have no social skills
7. Are socially inept and socially retarded
8. Those who are actually married? You'd crack up if you saw what their own wives looked like!

We are talking about people who are basically miserable in their own lives, lash out at specific women just as they sometimes lash out at women in general, and essentially this is the guy who nobody would eat lunch with back in school.

Moreover - I've seen greasy, ugly, morbidly obese, unkempt, unshaven, hideous looking guys with absolutely no personal hygiene standards go into a foot party in Los Angeles and complain about "not enough good looking women in the place" - and complain about girls there.

Personally, I tend to take a simple view toward girls and women; I love them. Half the girls I see on a daily basis look to me, like the most beautiful girl in the world. Half of them, and to my eye they are, at that moment when we are shooting the breeze .. the most beautiful girl in the world.

In this case: Raven Riley happens to be a gorgeous, luscious female with beautiful feet (and some other things, as well). I hope she doesn't take much of that seriously.
 

---

Posted by Lou Gojira (Member # 983) on :
 
"And to be honest, I have met and known male and female jerks. Gender isn't an issue.
It is just that people don't seem to be as "sweet" as they used to be, in general."

Very true ilikesoftpeds...the women have their fair share of bitches the same way us guys have our fair share of basturds. I think the reason why it bothers me more to see bad male behavior is because it really kind of embarasses me as a guy...but you're spot-on, people in general just don't seem as noble as they could be.

"As far as I can tell, those attitudes are that of jealousy spewing forth from single or lonely guys that are too timid to try for a girl that looks remotely like the ones they comment to and their only method of self preservation on the subject is to royally bash them."

You got that right scarlet! Whenever I see that kind of crap, I always tend to picture some fat and/or nerdy mama's boy that got turned down for one too many dates back in high school and hiding behind his PC...going through life bitter and unfulfilled, totally miserable and hating the very thing he KNOWS he doesn't stand a snowball's chance in hell of ever getting.

The question I have for people like that: If life is so bad and unfair, and they're so angry and resentful...why not end it? You know, just place a semi-highly powered pistol barrel against the roof of their mouth, pull the trigger, and scramble the brain pan a bit? Life obviously sucks, they hate their ugly selves, they hate women for being beautiful, so why endure another meaningless day? They need to turn off their computers and readily embrace cold, black, sweet oblivion. Couldn't be much worse than the sad fate they have among the living...

"Personally, I tend to take a simple view toward girls and women; I love them. Half the girls I see on a daily basis look to me, like the most beautiful girl in the world. Half of them, and to my eye they are, at that moment when we are shooting the breeze .. the most beautiful girl in the world. "

Amen Ben...amen! Sure, we can't have all the girls in the world, but isn't this world a much more lovely, interesting, and exciting place by their just being in it? I mean hell, if these hate-filled "guys" just counted their blessings for a minute and stopped being so nasty, they might realize that women aren't really all that scarey or intimidating...and God forbid if they cleaned up and stepped outside, they might even get to know some girls and even *gasp* date a few!

Of course, I realize how hypocritical I am when I talk about the woman-bashers' hateful natures, and I sound just as hate-filled when I'm saying that they should end their own lives...please excuse me for that.

"In this case: Raven Riley happens to be a gorgeous, luscious female with beautiful feet (and some other things, as well). I hope she doesn't take much of that seriously."

I hope not either...she's got it goin' on...in a lot of ways! I've saved quite a few of her pics for my files.
 

---

Posted by ilikesoftpeds (Member # 9269) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by MissMcKenzie:
ilikesoftpeds - I have found nice boys, but the problem seems to be that they contradict themselves. They say that they like you and you're the only one they're interested in, yet you find out that there's another girl, they say that they can be whatever you want them to be, they don't follow through. Either that or they can't seem to tell me how they feel, and I follow a Kirsten Dunst quote very religiously: "Do you like me or don't you? Just tell me so I can get over you." And I know that girls can be bitches, I can only talk to my (few) female friends for maybe 10 minutes, yet I can talk to my male friends for hours. Girls just tend to be really catty and competitive and whiny. And no, he is not my boyfriend, I am very very single.

---

Yeah, many guys are like that. They are dumbasses.

But there are guys that stay faithful and are open.

I am also very single.

My last girlfriend had some "issues" from previous relationships and admittedly I was at times immature. I wanted more attention than she was giving me. Imagine that. Usually it is the girls that want more attention.
She wasn't particularly "warm". I was looking for a warmer/sweeter and more sensual girl.

She loved my openess, she thought I was cute, liked my ability to care, sensitivity and my mild NC accent.
She was from out west; I am from the southeast, so it was a long distance relationship.

She thought I was a bit "immature" and "needy" though.

So with all of that; we just let the relationship fizzle.
I did meet her, but most of our correspondence was thru email/phone. It was my first (and last) time dating long distance like that. I just thought I'd try it.
I did start to develop feelings for her and she for me, but it just didn't work out for us.

So for now, I will take it real slow for relationships and have a good time chatting here as well as other places.

BTW, was that foot story true??
Maybe I am a bit slow on decifering this stuff, but I'd thought I'd ask. It is sometime hard to read and understand correctly here on an electronic message board. It isn't the same as face to face/ over the phone.

Lou, Ben, scarlet; great comments!
 

---

Posted by guitardrew (Member # 6635) on :
 
There is a lot of truth on here, Lou I am with you totally in wanting to expose these self-hating computer dorks who may be making hot girls actually feel bad about themselves because of their own personal problems, and when I EVER see negative comments on here I usually feel the need to refute these sad individuals, although thankfully, and even more sad for the bashers I think most people see that for what it is and these models are too busy leading their own lives often times to even SEE the garbage. Miss MacKenzie I assure you one of the few constant facts Ive found about life is that when talking about the human race you simply cannot ever group a whole division of people based on certain behaviors, there are all kinds of reasons this may appear true, but if you really give it some thought it is quite contradictory to reality. Dont get negative you will are bound to meet what you may think of as the exceptions as long as you keep yourself in the game. Dont let your mind slip into repeating negativity that leads to repeating patterns, I may sound nuts but I used to be so underconfident I could barely speak to people, then i did CBT(cognitive behavorial therapy) and my life is completely different. It was only once I realized that noone else was to blame for my negative experiences in life that the patterns did a 180, and my reactions to negative things and people finally changed. Hang in there everybody, people can suck a whole lot! lolll
 

---

Posted by Lou Gojira (Member # 983) on :
 
"Lou I am with you totally in wanting to expose these self-hating computer dorks who may be making hot girls actually feel bad about themselves because of their own personal problems, and when I EVER see negative comments on here I usually feel the need to refute these sad individuals, although thankfully, and even more sad for the bashers I think most people see that for what it is and these models are too busy leading their own lives often times to even SEE the garbage."

Very good point guitardrew. Maybe my even acknowledging the comments made by these "wastes of sperm and eggs" hating on these girls is doing nothing more than watering the weeds...that is, just leave them alone and hopefully these human weeds will fizzle out and disappear on their own. And it stands to reason...I mean, when a person's life is for shit, such as these computer dorks who fear both sunlight and women, then they're happy just getting attention, be it negative or otherwise, so I believe your point is solid.

"It's just really hard to find guys who break the mold. The more I see of guys my age, the more I see the guys who just want the "hot chick." "

I may be mistaken, but it seems, historically anyway, that relationships involving older men and younger women tend to work better. I don't know any statistics to quote off of, but I've always heard that women usually mature, mentally that is, four years faster than men do. A 20 year old girl will think like a 20 year old, whereas a guy who is 20 may have a lot of 16 year old tendencies. That's not to say that women are more intelligent, or that young guys are inherently dumb, I think it just goes to show the kinds of cards that we as humantiy are left dealt, so we have to play accordingly.

Of course, to every "rule" there is always an exception. In both of my grandfathers' cases, my grandmothers were considerably younger than they when they married...one grandmother by four years, and the other grandmother by 16 years...and yes, without giving out actual ages, both marriages would land both of my grandfathers in jail now-a-days. But, to both couples' credit, both marriages lasted, literally, until death when they parted...rock-solid relationships to say the least.

However, in my personal case, my wife was nine years younger than me and that marriage hit the rocky shores all too quick. So, to that "rule", I can say my situation was an exception.

That'd be my advice to you though, MissMcKenzie, if you don't mind my saying...you need to shoot for an older age bracket. Obviously you're looking for a guy with his ducks lined up better than you've found thus far, and the guys your own age aren't cutting it for you. Give the older, more refined guys a chance...your luck may turn around!
 

---

Posted by ilikesoftpeds (Member # 9269) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by MissMcKenzie:
I definitely like older guys, in fact, my longest relationship, about two years, was with a guy who two years older than me. My next longest relationship, 7 months, was with a guy who was about a year older than me. It's just that guys mature slower than females, they're about two years behind, so I need to find someone who's about 22. And at that age, they've (pretty much) gotten over the "WHOOOO, we're in college, let's drink until we pass out and bring chicks back to the room and throw things out the window at the people walking outside the building" thing.

---

If guys were emotionally abusive to you that means that they have low self esteem. Don't let them get you down.
I have seen many of those jerks and they make me mad because they give all guys a bad name.
I have seen it over and over and wonder why girls go out with jerks like them.
If girls would go out with guys with a foot fetish, the girls would be much happier
I love to compliment girls on here. It makes me feel good and I think many girls deserve it.

It's also true that guys mature slower than girls. I am 25, and I'd say most girls 20-25 are about as mature as I am. I can still be childish, I admit.
My last girlfriend was 28, so maybe that is why she felt I was a bit "immature".

I was never into the college party scene or drinking. I just always viewed it as silly.
Being at an arts school, I saw a lot of it though.
I just kept my distance.

I am a private person when it comes to intimacy, so I wasn't very outgoing. I have always been a bit shy. But I am very passionate when in a relationship.

BTW, are you in the US??
Just curious.
 

---

Posted by Mighty Mike (Member # 1922) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by ilikesoftpeds:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by MissMcKenzie:
[qb]
I have seen many of those jerks and they make me mad because they give all guys a bad name.
I have seen it over and over and wonder why girls go out with jerks like them.

---

unfortunatly for nicer more respectable guys alot of girls wouldn't have it any other way

nice guys are boring they need drama
 

---

Posted by guitardrew (Member # 6635) on :
 
Northern VA? wow MissMcKenzie I am from the Hampton Roads area, half hour from VA Beach fiiiiinally some VA people at Wu's lolll
 

---

Posted by Stryder_007 (Member # 13405) on :
 
I gotta say it is hella wrong for them to say that about her. If they don't like it, then don't look. I mean they are entitled to their opinions, but it is wrong for them to trash her like that. And as far as guys and girls go....the bottom line... is that....
PEOPLE IN GENERAL SUCK

Both men and woman. Each has their flaws, but still remain similar. It's just human nature that people hurt one another. It has been going on since the begining and will continue to the end.. But you learn to deal with it. I have a very close female friend (who happens to be bi.. and she was screwed over by every guy she dated. She decided to go and start dating girls, since she saw that sometimes a woman can understand more and love more and blah blah..and after a while the girl cheated on her and left her for another woman. My point is you have to take the good with the bad-there is no easy way around it.
 

---

Posted by DennisIsEvil (Member # 11755) on :
 
They're probably just brooding because she turned the Alpha-Dork of the group down so in order to uphold the unity of their pathetic crew they need to all take potshots.


Or they're a bunch of retarded 14 year old hillbillies whose idea of fun is playing Diablo all day and typing "U R A FAGGOT!"back and forth at each other. Later they'll probably go beat off in their sister's bedroom and eat their dingleberries.
 

---

Posted by Fate111 (Member # 2627) on :
 
I completely agree with Lou on this. It does get me miffed off when people have to subject other people to all kinds of negativity, which includes posting unflattering things about other people's pictures. This gets me miffed even when I see it here on this forum (Although, I have to say that negativity here is very minimal and, for the most part, most of the great people on here really have manners, which is great!) and other foot related forums. There are some foot related forums that used to be good but then a whole influx of people joined who have nothing better to do with their time but tear down other people's work of taking and posting pictures. What does that really accomplish in the long run? I've seen people who took this kind of so-called "criticism" to heart and, as a result, left and never posted anything again. In my opinion, everyone loses when that happens.

To me, the rule of thumb on forums is that if you don't like something you see, then simply move on to something else and don't say anything about it! It's kind of like watching TV. If you don't like what's on, pick up the damn remote and change the channel! No one is holding a gun to your head and making you view the material! Click and move on! From what I've seen, usually the negative posts cause online fights among the parties with their differing opinions and people begin to take sides. Then you have people firing insults at each other and the main issue, the content (i.e. the pictures) hardly even matters anymore and is long forgotten. What sense does that make?

Granted, there are those out there who feel they have to get a "one-up" on everyone else and think it's cool to disrespect others or feel that to take the advice of not saying anything at all is a "direct violation of their rights under the First Amendment" and all of that crap. While it's important to have the right to say what we want to say, it's also important not to abuse that right as well.
 

---

Posted by Lou Gojira (Member # 983) on :
 
Thanks for all the great replies everybody! Glad to see that I'm not alone in this. Sadly, I too have watched forums hit mudslides and spiral into ignorant flame wars over these things...

So let me say, to anybody who see's this kind of abuse creep up around here, minimal as it is, please do not hesitate to let me or another one of the mod's know about it if we don't catch it first. Wu's is gonna stay a user-friendly forum!

And a note to MissMcKenzie...
If I may, let me please, please ask you to reconsider what you just described. I heard a statistic a long time back about women who get breast augmentation surgery, and according to what I heard, women with breast implants are five times more likely to commit suicide than women without...

Now think about that for a minute. I don't know what it is you plan on getting worked on, but think about those women who thought that going under the knife or getting injections would be a problem-solver. It sounds to me like they too had self-esteem issues before-hand, and thought that getting those "perfect" boobs might fix some things. When they saw that it didn't, well, you see where it went...

That's kind of the same thing I can't help but think about you. I don't know you personally, but you sound basically like a good woman who's unfortunately had some very trying times, which has ultimately hurt your personal perception. Surgery will not fix it, because issues go further than skin-deep. So what if you've had some jerks insult your appearance? The trick to beating the insults is by not believing them. If you succumb to believing what assholes say, then surgery will not fix you...if anything you're letting the assholes win.

Fix what's inside first...see yourself as the beautiful woman you know you are. And yes, beauty encompasses everything, not just looks. Take note of your strong-points, work on your weak points where you can...and for the love of God put that $47,000 to better use!

I'm sorry if I sound like I just hopped up on a soap box, but I can't sit silent at the wayside and know that a good lady such as yourself is going to subject herself to such pointless mutilation. If the surgery is to better your health, then no harm no foul...but if it's purely for cosmetic reasons, believe you me you will not come away a happier person. I used to work security in a mental health facility, and I have seen firsthand that things like this only bring people further misery.

You just need a good man, one that'll treat you right and fulfill your needs, and I think it's safe to say that you can find one for less than $47,000!
 

---

Posted by Mighty Mike (Member # 1922) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by MissMcKenzie:

Mighty Mike - The one nice guy I've dated was boring as hell, but it wasn't from lack of drama, it was from a lack of personality.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mighty Mike:

quote:

---

Originally posted by MissMcKenzie:

Mighty Mike - The one nice guy I've dated was boring as hell, but it wasn't from lack of drama, it was from a lack of personality.

---

that's the problem with alot of women (not saying you in particular) if he doesn't give them drama he is labeled as a guy with no personality

---

Damn that's eerie...I was just talking to a girl at work earlier today that said the same thing about her first real boyfriend. She said there was nothing wrong with the guy...he was good as gold...she just said that he wasn't interesting and she felt like she was "settling" for him, so she broke it off with him.

I have to agree with you 110% Mighty Mike...while I know that there are exceptions to every "rule" under the sun, it does seem like most women will make tracks if the guy they're with isn't giving them at least a mild form of grief here or there. That's not to say that women need to be abused or have their will broken down or anything like that...but if they're not getting at least a tiny bit of drama, they don't know how to handle it! Of course, that's usually not a problem with me as I tend to be an over-reactive asshole a lot of times myself (hey, we all have our faults) ...but this is not the first time I've heard a woman say that an inherently good man was dull.

Then again, I think a lot of us guys have the same dilemma, just in different ways. Heck, I know guys who have an "ideal" arrangement...their women are basically "Nancy Housewife" with no emotional baggage, and these guys complain about lack of "sparks" or whatever! These guys claim they want Aunt Bea, only looking more like Marilyn Monroe...but honestly I think they're looking for Charlotte the Harlot because she's better in bed!
 

---

Posted by Lou Gojira (Member # 983) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by MissMcKenzie:
Unfortunately, the field that I'm going into is very much an appearance-based one. People go to nutritionists and personal trainers to get advice on how to look their best, and if you don't look good, no one's going to want your advice because they don't think you know what you're talking about. I mean, would you go to a dermatologist with acne, or an overweight doctor specializing in weight loss? Now, neither nutrition nor physical activity can do anything for what I plan on fixing (nosejob, cheek implants, laser skin resurfacing and porcelain veneers), but I can't tell every single potential client that. I can say that the nosejob is partially for medical reasons, I can just barely breathe through my nose, which means any dental procedures basically suffocate me. Unfortunately, private school has instilled this "perfection or nothing" mentality. It's probably not very healthy, but it's the only thing that motivates me.
At this point, I've realized that my BPD ex is basically full of shit, and I've learned to not take anything he said to heart. Do I still want to put him in the hospital? Oh yeah, definitely, but I've come to terms with the fact that he does have a disease that makes him incredibly obnoxious. The other things that I mentioned that are non-medical, the cheek implants, the veneers and the skin resurfacing, those are things that have bothered me about my appearance pretty much all my life, or at least since they started to appear, such as the deep acne scars. I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that there are guys who just have absolutely no idea how to talk to girls and have no idea how to keep their mouth shut about a girl's appearance. I'm currently training one guy and teaching him (I'll admit, the hard way) how to talk to me. Said guy has also almost made me cry with his comments. I will give the guy some credit, he did apologize, and he is anti-me-getting-plastic-surgery, but let's face it, he's in training, so I don't take much of what he says seriously. Basically, the negative feedback from people, mostly males, has caused me to be pretty critical of how I look, but the things I'm fixing are pretty much the things that bother me, they aren't really things I get a lot of crap for.
It's kind of funny though, I get crap for being a bitch, having a stubborn, fairly aggressive (one of my favorite quotes is "just 'cause I wear lipstick doesn't mean I can't kick your ass" by Vince Neil), dominant personality I just kind of blow it off after telling them that yeah, that does suck... for them, but the second someone says something about the way I look, it's like "shit, something else to work on."

---

What can I say? But I still can't help but think that you should also work on the "inner you" in the process. That's not to single you out...hell, we've ALL got flaws, and God knows I'm a walking truckload of flaws that need serious fixing! Just so you know that cosmetic surgery is not a cure-all...

All I'm saying, basically, is that you can put rims and a spoiler on an Escort that could really make it look pretty...but in the end it's still a four-cyclinder Escort no matter how you dress it up. Same ol' rinky-dink engine on the inside...

For that matter, richie girl Paris Hilton is physically the cat's meow (in my opinion), but if I had my druther's I'd hook up with a no-money Plain Jane with a good personality first...
 

---

Posted by FTPHANTOM (Member # 47) on :
 
Raven Riley is HOT!! I have a nice collection of her too.Ya people like the one's at that blog sound like a bunch of jerks,I ignore people like that.
 

---

Posted by Julia exposed (Member # 9025) on :
 
wow I just saw it all. That sucks....she is really beautiful. I hope that never happens to me. Can't the blog owner ban these creeps?
 

---

Posted by guitardrew (Member # 6635) on :
 
yeah they apparently 'thought' Daemoness wasnt hot, hahahahaha! i can just imagine the wheels in their heads turning, seeing that Daemoness has a boyfriend who posted the pictures for them to see, and the incredible envy rising up through their bodies making them hate their life more and more as they type in, 'yeah shes kinda hot but not really that great', lollllll
 

---

Posted by Julia exposed (Member # 9025) on :
 
Dae? not hot?....ok they are into guys then...cause she is beautiful!!
 

---

Posted by Lou Gojira (Member # 983) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by FTPHANTOM:
Raven Riley is HOT!! I have a nice collection of her too.

---

If memory serves, you should have a few pics of Cora Carina too!
 

---

Posted by Lou Gojira (Member # 983) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Julia exposed:
Dae? not hot?....ok they are into guys then...cause she is beautiful!!

---

I hear you Julia...but I don't even think homosexuals act like that! These geekboy cretins that flame model pics are most likely a-sexual...no action, ain't gettin' none, and don't even stand a chance of gettin' some! At least gay guys know what they want...these a-sexual losers are waiting for FHM or Maxim to TELL them who to find attractive!
 

---

Posted by popsicletoes (Member # 1105) on :
 
I really admire women who post pics of themselves online. It takes courage to do it because unless they are perfect some guy will try and knock them down. When I try and imagine why a man would want to do this all I can come up with is that in their minds maybe they think the women thinks too highly of herself and maybe they imagine this women needs to be knocked down a notch. Maybe they have been rejected alot in their lives and take it out on a less than perfect women online. That is the only thing I can come up with.

I don't think you will find a women around is isn't insecure about her looks in some way, even the women that you might consider hot. I don't think men understand how much even the littlest comment can hurt. I am not sure you guys can relate but maybe for you it would be like a lady making a comment about your penis size. That seems to be a big issue with men.

I agree with the comments made about both men and women being cold and heartless. Men do tend to say insensitive stuff without thinking .. it is why I try and take their intentions into consideration too LOL Luckily being over 40 most of the men I date have learned and are more careful about what they say.

Miss mac .. I can tell you are a very strong women and I can relate to exes that were cruel. Luckily I had only one really bad ex bf. He made comments like .... "hey you really don't look bad in a bathingsuit" or "it is a good thing you have a great personality because you aren't beautiful". I am not sure why he felt the need to say them . I know I justified it for him by telling myself he was just being honest and I value honesty highly. The comments hurt so much and luckily I dumped him shortly after. Thing is though he probably wasn't saying anything I didn't feel deep down so it forced me to deal with my self esteem issues. I think deep down many of us have issues of inadequacy. I will always have a little of that but most of the time I think I am a damn good catch .. and attractive. I am far from perfect looking but I have found many men who do see my beauty. I hope you don't value yourself mostly on your looks. Life is very short and spending so much time thinking and worrying about your looks directs all your energy to the things in life that are the least fulfilling. You were put on this world to do great things with your life and you can't do them if you are focused on looking the way you think men want you to. You have great strength do deal with the crap that has come your way. Don't let the assholes in your past have this power over you.

I know you don't know me and you are smart enough to likley know what is best for you so I am not trying to tell you what to do. I just hate to see you buy into the idea that you have to be perfect. If you are getting into a field that demands you look perfect then maybe you should rethink this career decision.

I have also learned I am far from perfect and always will be that way. Thing is .. so are men LOL I am not even gonna tell you not to get all the plastic surgery you are wanting. I will say though that looking good is great ... feeling like you look great, even when far from perfect is wayyyyyy better.
 

---

Posted by guitardrew (Member # 6635) on :
 
'Maybe they have been rejected alot in their lives and take it out on a less than perfect women online. That is the only thing I can come up with.'

some take it out on clearly gorgeous women! as if they have their pick of the most gorgeous women god created, at least they can pretend their fooling people in some forum, anyway i just thought about it alot of time these kids have all kinds of pent up problems, id rather them get it out online than to go "postal" at their school/workplace sometime, frightening.
 

---

Posted by guitardrew (Member # 6635) on :
 
to be honest if a girl doesnt have ANY imperfections, i aint lookin. its part of the sex appeal for me.
 

---

Posted by Lou Gojira (Member # 983) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by MissMcKenzie:
It's on for another 40 minutes, I think by the time it's done, I'll be fine with some non-surgical veneers and some kind of non-surgical skin tone fixing thing.

---

So now that the special is over...what's your final Jeopardy answer?
 

---

Posted by Mighty Mike (Member # 1922) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by MissMcKenzie:
Update - Right now, I'm watching "Vh1 Goes Inside: Plastic Surgery Obsession" and I really do want to throw up. A lot of the procedures that they're showing are things like lipo and breast implants, neither of which I would get, but it's almost enough to make me think "hmm, maybe I should get used to not having cheekbones or a streamlined nose." It's on for another 40 minutes, I think by the time it's done, I'll be fine with some non-surgical veneers and some kind of non-surgical skin tone fixing thing.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by MissMcKenzie:
I'm fine with the veneers and skin stuff. After watching that special, I'm not so keen on getting my face cut open...

---

Good...good for you. A very wise decision if you don't mind my saying so.

 

---

Posted by Lou Gojira (Member # 983) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by MissMcKenzie:
Okay, I had to revive this because I need confirmation that the guys that I associate with, at least the single ones, are complete and total idiots.

---

Confirmed...that guy sounds like a real knucklehead!

But here's a question I have about this guy's "opinions" of you Miss Mac...are you asking about his thoughts on these aspects of yourself, or is he volunteering these things? Even though this guy is sounding like a total dunce running off at the mouth, in all fairness if you're asking him these kinds of questions to get him going, then you really don't have any right to take offense at what he says.

Don't get me wrong, if this guy is really into you and cares about your feelings, then he should exercise a better amount of discretion if and when these kinds of topics come up...but at the same time are you knowingly (or perhaps unknowingly) putting him on the spot? Do you remember what exactly is said that brings these kinds of topics up with this guy?

Oh and yeah, that model's boobs look pretty plastic to me. To each his (or her) own, but that's not my thing at all.

And about kicking his ass? Treat that idea like drugs...just say no! Revenge always sounds good and righteous, but in the end it's never worth your time or the risk of trouble. Just write off the assholes in this world and move on...you're a better person than they are.
 

---

Posted by Lou Gojira (Member # 983) on :
 
No no no...No but's allowed m'Dear! No revenge! Got it? Don't go stooping to this guy's level...I'm telling you you're better than that!

One of two things is going to happen from all of what you just described:

1. You're going to stop playing along with this doofus' head games and drop him like a bad habit. (the wise move)

or

2. You're going to silently endure this demeaning crap, thinking you're going to get him to change with enough persuasion, settling for a guy you already deep-down know isn't what you're looking for in a person, and thus giving you something to complain about amongst your girlfriends.
(the move I've seen too many women make, sadly)

It's truly boggling my mind Miss McKenzie, seriously! Why in the sam-hell you're getting worked up over this guy is beyond me.

If you don't mind me suggesting, I think what you should work on (instead of how you're going to hurt this insensitive asshole right back) is the image you have of yourself. Honestly, and I'm not blowing smoke here, you are an exceptionally attractive woman! And while I'm talking truth here, let me just say that if you happened to live around me, I'd be wanting to get your number! But something is telling me that you're not seeing yourself that way, otherwise you wouldn't be going in circles with this jerk-wad with his mind games...and therein lies the solution to this mess.

Work on your self-esteem, and start believing people when they compliment you! Once you have a solid and grounding, realistic view of yourself, you'd realize that this guy is nothing more than a waste of time. You're working on your degree to get a career in hopes of bettering the world, but how can you hope to help the world when you're neglecting yourself already?

Bottom line: move on! Go with option one. Please don't fall into the masses by taking option two.

And if you've still got some violent urges, play a violent video game instead, or go to a gun range and shoot a few rounds, or go to a gym and beat the hell out of a punching bag...a night in county jail won't look good on anybody's record...especially your own.
 

---

Posted by Lou Gojira (Member # 983) on :
 
Oh and yeah, one more thing...

quote:

---

Originally posted by MissMcKenzie:
An example of his lack of an inner "shut up" voice concerning the bad taste - well apparently after he initiates a "hey, we need to chill at your house and watch movies, what do you have" thing, he felt it was absolutely necessary to tell me alllllll about why my taste in movies sucks.

---

Please...please PLEASE tell me that Girl Interrupted is not in your video library.

 

---

Posted by JayArr (Member # 2229) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Fate111:
To me, the rule of thumb on forums is that if you don't like something you see, then simply move on to something else and don't say anything about it! It's kind of like watching TV. If you don't like what's on, pick up the damn remote and change the channel! No one is holding a gun to your head and making you view the material! Click and move on! From what I've seen, usually the negative posts cause online fights among the parties with their differing opinions and people begin to take sides. Then you have people firing insults at each other and the main issue, the content (i.e. the pictures) hardly even matters anymore and is long forgotten. What sense does that make?

---

This is the sort of wisdom that needs to be nailed to every notice board in the world. Or ... something.

Stone-cold truth! It doesn't just apply to the foot world, but ALL MB's. One way to look at message boards: they are places that less successful people go (socially / physically / intellectually / financially) to criticise more succcessful people. That's a gross generalisation, of course, and certainly doesn't reflect any particular person here or persons on hundreds of other sites, but it happens time and time again. It happened a year ago. It happened yesterday. It will be happening tomorrow.

It's just so easy for any jerk-off to write something disparaging/mean/crude/vindictive. Here: crap. See? I did it. One word, four letters. Anyone can do it. And that's hardly the worst word or the most colourful attack. It can take years to create, but only seconds to destroy. Or to tarnish. Vulgarity is the cheap side of beauty. And you know the thing about cheap stuff? It's cheap!

Humanity is like an electric current: it takes the path of least resistance. For some, that means being as hateful and nasty as you can be. Because those emotions and the manner in which they can be expressed flow quickly. Hatred is for severely deficient people still looking for their place in life. It's a lower form of reality. Thankfully, even though it's crowded, not everyone lives at that level. The view is better the higher you go.
 

---

Posted by Lou Gojira (Member # 983) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by MissMcKenzie:

And no, Girl Interrupted is not in my video library. It actually looked good in the previews... does it actually suck or something?

---

*gasp* Oh...oh gosh...I think I love you...



I think the movie blows, sure, but to make a long story short, if I know that a girl owns this piece of tripe, no matter how hot she is, I will avoid her like the plague. I'll be happy to go into detail on the reasons later, but I'm kinda' pressed for time at the moment.

quote:

---

Originally posted by MissMcKenzie:
The self esteem is definitely getting better, I'm learning to put more of the focus on the great things about me that are on the inside rather than looks. I mean, look at him... he's cute as hell, he borders on hot, but his personality or lack thereof makes him one of the ugliest people in the world.
I'm done with him and trying to teach him that personality counts more than bleached to death hair and orange fake tans. Good riddance anyway, I'm sick of having to dumb myself down so he can understand me...

---

Great news...on both accounts! You DO deserve so much better. The particularly awesome part is that while you're wisely focusing on the beauty of the inner, just know that you've got the outer to match! Doubt that for a second? Just go back and see all the compliments that came your way when you posted your pic.

Sweet...good riddance to bad rubbish! Glad to hear the good news Miss Mac. This Friday is already off to a good start!
 

---

Posted by Lou Gojira (Member # 983) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by JayArr:

It's just so easy for any jerk-off to write something disparaging/mean/crude/vindictive. Here: crap. See? I did it. One word, four letters. Anyone can do it. And that's hardly the worst word or the most colourful attack. It can take years to create, but only seconds to destroy. Or to tarnish. Vulgarity is the cheap side of beauty. And you know the thing about cheap stuff? It's cheap!

Humanity is like an electric current: it takes the path of least resistance. For some, that means being as hateful and nasty as you can be. Because those emotions and the manner in which they can be expressed flow quickly. Hatred is for severely deficient people still looking for their place in life. It's a lower form of reality. Thankfully, even though it's crowded, not everyone lives at that level. The view is better the higher you go.

---

Beautifully said! *applause*

 

---

Posted by Mighty Mike (Member # 1922) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by MissMcKenzie:
But, but... he deserves an ass-kicking, and it makes it even better if I do it since I'm like, half his size... grrr.
Anyway, he very readily volunteers this stuff. In fact, he's been very well known to send me obviously airbrushed and photoshopped pictures of girls and say "she's got the perfect body." Out of absolutely nowhere. Same with the "you're too pale" thing and everything else. This is his response to "do you know anyone who can help me out with French this semester" or "hey, if you're looking for a class to take, there's this really easy one I took last semester" or something else completely innocuous.
Hell, the night before last I showed him something in a really pretty color of blue, asked him what he thought of it, just a "you're an artist, do you like this color" thing. He goes on a ten to twenty minute rant, an honest to god rant, about how I need to go and get a spray-on tan, because they're better than a real one.
An example of his lack of an inner "shut up" voice concerning the bad taste - well apparently after he initiates a "hey, we need to chill at your house and watch movies, what do you have" thing, he felt it was absolutely necessary to tell me alllllll about why my taste in movies sucks.

---

are you sure you're not the type of girl that gets completely turned on by guys that treat you like crap?

why anybody would put up with this I don't know

do you not think that you can do better or is that what you like in a guy?

[ January 27, 2007, 03:41 PM: Message edited by: Mighty Mike ]
 

---

Posted by Mighty Mike (Member # 1922) on :
 
also about the original topic, i've seen on some forums where these girls post pics and actually say something like "look at me i'm so hot"

when you come off as a cocky person you're going to get criticism

I don't feel sorry for those girls who actually have the nerve to say soemthing like that, even if they are hot

being modest is sexy

sometimes these girls need an ego check
 

---

Posted by Mighty Mike (Member # 1922) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by MissMcKenzie:

Mighty Mike - The one nice guy I've dated was boring as hell, but it wasn't from lack of drama, it was from a lack of personality.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mighty Mike:
also about the original topic, i've seen on some forums where these girls post pics and actually say something like "look at me i'm so hot"

when you come off as a cocky person you're going to get criticism

I don't feel sorry for those girls who actually have the nerve to say soemthing like that, even if they are hot

being modest is sexy

sometimes these girls need an ego check

---

No arguements here about that! Pride always comes before a fall...or so I've always seen happen.

But what burns my ass is...well, you've obviously read through the topic; It's the sniveling little mama's boys that somehow think that making fun of a girl's appearance over the internet (or in real life for that matter, though I guarantee most of them cower from girls in the real world), unprovoked, is something that makes them cool. Sorry...that kinda' crap is pathetically and tragically un-cool. In fact, it's a guaranteed ticket to residence in Losersville.

Message boards aside, hell, I've even read movie reviews where the writer decides to talk about how ugly he thinks certain girls in said movies are...again, not cool. I can understand being an immature kid in elementary school and being creeped out by girls, but come on...

A good example is a writer named Damon Foster, editor and head writer for Oriental Cinema. Generally, I enjoy reading his reviews on Asian movies, and all his wise cracks usually have me laughing...but there was a time or two that he'd stooped to making fun of how certain girls looked. The first thought that went through my head upon reading it was: "Yeap, this guy can't get layed..."

Am I the only one who thinks that?
 

---

Posted by Mighty Mike (Member # 1922) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by MissMcKenzie:
I only put up with the bitchy guy here because, to be honest, he's cute, and he'd be fine for making out with as long as he never speaks again.
It's always the assholes and the crazy people who end up flocking to me. I have no idea why...

---

haha i think everybody is guilty for giving alot of chances to somrbody because they liked the way they looked

good looks give you a larger margin for error

about the assholes flocking to you, do you think that maybe you are only attracted to assholes?

every chick i've ever known to say that only liked jerks and were bored out of their mind with a normal minded respectable guy
 

---

Posted by Mighty Mike (Member # 1922) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lou Gojira:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mighty Mike:
also about the original topic, i've seen on some forums where these girls post pics and actually say something like "look at me i'm so hot"

when you come off as a cocky person you're going to get criticism

I don't feel sorry for those girls who actually have the nerve to say soemthing like that, even if they are hot

being modest is sexy

sometimes these girls need an ego check

---

No arguements here about that! Pride always comes before a fall...or so I've always seen happen.

But what burns my ass is...well, you've obviously read through the topic; It's the sniveling little mama's boys that somehow think that making fun of a girl's appearance over the internet (or in real life for that matter, though I guarantee most of them cower from girls in the real world), unprovoked, is something that makes them cool. Sorry...that kinda' crap is pathetically and tragically un-cool. In fact, it's a guaranteed ticket to residence in Losersville.

Message boards aside, hell, I've even read movie reviews where the writer decides to talk about how ugly he thinks certain girls in said movies are...again, not cool. I can understand being an immature kid in elementary school and being creeped out by girls, but come on...

A good example is a writer named Damon Foster, editor and head writer for Oriental Cinema. Generally, I enjoy reading his reviews on Asian movies, and all his wise cracks usually have me laughing...but there was a time or two that he'd stooped to making fun of how certain girls looked. The first thought that went through my head upon reading it was: "Yeap, this guy can't get layed..."

Am I the only one who thinks that?

---

I agree

these guys are just very insecure and unhappy

every person i've ever known who seemed to enjoy pointing out the faults in someones looks to their face never had much going for them

they know they're a loser so it helps them sleep better at night by making others feel the same
 

---

Posted by Lou Gojira (Member # 983) on :
 
I think both of y'all hit the nail on the head by mentioning the insecurity/not much going for them issues...

Makes me remember an episode of Cheers where Cliff was saying, and I'm paraphrasing:
"It's not that I can't find a date, I just have impossibly high standards for women."

To which Norm replies: "Yeah, they have to like you."

quote:

---

They want to reject the girl before the girl can reject them. That way they have the upperhand, if they pull the "oh, I'm not interested in you" card, they can kind of save their ass when the girl rejects them. Even if there's no chance in hell that a girl won't date them or even give them a friendly peck on the cheek, it manifests itself into frustration over it and also the macho "you don't want me? Fine, I don't want you" thing.

---

I had a friend in high school who was BAD about doing this. Granted I was no prize-catch myself, but this guy had a tendency to really creep girls out, and I think it got to him pretty badly. Whenever we'd be checking girls out or whatever, not a single one could walk by without something negative said by him, which was usually: "She's got deformed tits!" (don't ask me how in the hell he thought he was a breast expert)

After graduation he went into the Marines and served a stint. Couple years later, when I saw him again, he was completely different toward women. Had himself a girlfriend (if I remember right), told me a story where he complimented a poor girl who was missing a hand (something he NEVER would've done before), told stories about hooking up with girls (among other stories). In other words, I guess he finally got the discipline and confidence he needed, and his negativity toward the fairer sex came to an end.
 

---

Posted by Lou Gojira (Member # 983) on :
 
*sigh* Now what did I tell you about revenge Miss Mac? Shame on you.

Yes ma'am, I think it'd be terribly immature and ultimately a waste of your time even gratifying this guy with further attention, be it good or bad. Just leave his goofy ass alone. He had his chances for something good with you, and he pissed them all away by being an insensitive prick.

If anything, further acknowledgement of this guy is only going to tell him that you're still hung up on him (even if it is in a negative sense), otherwise you wouldn't even be messing with him. And do you want him to even have that small amount of satisfaction? Cut him off and move on.

That's my biased and heavy-handed opinion...hope it helps.
 

---

Posted by Mighty Mike (Member # 1922) on :
 
yeah being completely ignored can feel worse than anything
 

---

Posted by Lou Gojira (Member # 983) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mighty Mike:
yeah being completely ignored can feel worse than anything

---

Brother Mike is correct Miss Mac. Just compare the two feelings you could bestow upon this guy...

A) Any form of revenge: <translation> "Fuck you...I hate you!"

or

B) Totally ignoring him: <translation> "*pffft* I'm not into you..."

Which one do you think would needle in more painfully? And the beauty of it is, you'd be the bigger person, you wouldn't risk losing face if it backfires, and you do wind up exacting a revenge of sorts in the process! Win-win scenario my friend!

Oh, and please excuse the ma'am bit. I say ma'am out of respect, that's all.
 

---

Posted by Lou Gojira (Member # 983) on :
 
What's this mess about "hooking up" with him? Like I say Miss Mac, just leave the guy alone all together. If he contacts you, and you want a peaceful way out of dealing with him, be aggressively boring. He should take the hint soon enough. And if he doesn't take the hint, say you've got other plans...and if you happen to not have other plans, then promptly make them!

Sure some folks can date people, and if things don't work out they can go on to be friends (think Jerry and Elaine on Seinfeld)...but this doesn't sound like such a case. Even though it's in a bad light, you're still thinking about this guy Miss Mac, and trying to just be his friend or acquaintence or whatever is, in my opinion, and at this point anyway, playing with fire. Whether the guy was aware of it or not doesn't matter, what he said and had a tendency to say hurt your feelings...so why would you want to risk any more verbal abuse? Maybe later on down the line you could be his friend if you feel the need for it, but get any feelings you have for him out of your system first.

Believe me, I've been there and done that with plenty of girls in my life...if and when feelings exist, whether they're good or bad, deal with your feelings first, getting things into perspective, and THEN deal with the person that invoked them if you you so choose later on. You know that saying about walking into a gun fight with nothing but a knife? You just try dealing with this guy while any feelings toward him are still in your head, and you will be hurt and bleeding before you know it.
 

---