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Do Men Love Their Girlfriends Less After Looking at Hot Women?
Ladies, no matter how pretty you think you are, the constant comparisons won't work in your favor. It's now known, for instance, that male high school teachers and college professors have suspiciously higher divorce rates, whereas male kindergarten teachers tend to be more monogamous.
Psychologists Douglas Kendrick and Sara Gutierres at Arizona State University study what is known as "contrast effect," which occurs when a person of average appearance is directly compared to gorgeous people and judged as less attractive than he (or she) would otherwise be. For example, in one of the studies, undergraduate men who recently watched this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOEC2jWXqOY were significantly less willing to date average-looking women than were men who HADN'T recently seen that video.
In a similar study, the psychologist recorded couples who lived together and were in committed long-term relationships. The experiment, which covered art appreciation, required the participants to view pictures of their "well proportioned" opposite-sex centerfolds or abstract art. After viewing either the hottie or the art, the men and women answered questions about their feelings for their partners. Strikingly, the men who had been gazing at the babe indicated less attraction to and love for their girlfriends or wives than the men who had been looking at abstract shapes and colors. Meanwhile, for women, looking at pictures of beefcake was "pleasant" but didn't affect their feelings or desire for their partners. (However, in another study, women did downgrade their partners after reading about men who had status and resources.)
It's one thing for a women if her boyfriend/husband just looks at beautiful women, and it's another story if these women are flirtatious. In a similar experiment, at McMaster University, researcher Sandeep Mishra and his colleagues showed men videos of an attractive woman. Some of the men watched the woman radiating warmth and implying the possibility of a future invitation, while the others watched the woman acting neutral and uninterested. The group of men who saw the woman acting flirtatious rated their partners as significantly less attractive than did the men who saw the same hottie when she acted bland.
The contrast effect is completely subconscious. Men really don't mean to think you're less attractive or love you less after seeing young, hot chicks (even if you're also one). Mass media and everyday life introduce an abundance of gorgeous women and comparisons are inevitable. When the mating pool seems to include more and more hot women, an average-looking woman, or even a pretty one, no longer seems like a good catch.
Exacerbating it all is men's knee-jerk neurochemical response to the sight of receptive, beautiful women. Men are known to react strongly and irrationally, thanks in part to high testosterone levels and activity in the amygdala, the part of the brain that makes spur-of-moment decisions. Some men raise their criteria and expectations unrealistically, while others soon recalibrate when they realize their mates value really isn't high enough to attract an Adriana Lima or even the flirtatious bartender at the local pub.
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In my case I wouldn't say LOOKING was a factor. But with my first high-school girlfriend I remember finding less attraction after these two girls were showing visible interest, flirting etc. I couldn't view my relationship quite the same.
But I suppose I can also put it down to not being as committed as I thought I was from the beginning. Because I know I've had stronger emotional connections since...
Posts: 962 | Registered: Jun 2007
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quote:Originally posted by DeadGoon: In my case I wouldn't say LOOKING was a factor. But with my first high-school girlfriend I remember finding less attraction after these two girls were showing visible interest, flirting etc. I couldn't view my relationship quite the same.
But I suppose I can also put it down to not being as committed as I thought I was from the beginning. Because I know I've had stronger emotional connections since...
I agree with goon. We have ALOT of beautiful women here in phoenix. I'm usually dating at least one. If i'm monogamous though and i'm getting what I want at home I could care less if Adriana Lima was flirting with me. It'd be cool...but i'm going home to my chic! But if my chic starts slipping up and isn't a great partner, those women flirting with me and offering me the attention and affection I don't get at home puts things in perspective with the girl at home. And in the end i'm less than excited to go home.
-------------------- If she won't indulge your fetish, I bet you that cuter, smarter girl across the bar will. Lets go find out. Posts: 1877 | Registered: Aug 2006
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People would still seek adventures with other females even if what they're getting at home is pretty good. A professional photographer who makes a living shooting pictures of hot women in the studio is more likely to cheat on his girl than someone who's a telemarketer because that guy is not exposed to women as often as the photographer. We're going to go under the assumption that both guys are happy with what they have at home.
I think looking at someone who is hot will lead someone to want to chat 'em up just to see where it leads, especially if those women are around you quite often.
This has a bigger impact on single men than it does on a guy who's already in a relationship because those who are single are not going to say no to a hot girl. Those in relationships will be flattered, but because they already have someone, they are more likely to turn down her offer. If you're single and you just saw that Pussycat Doll video, all you want to do is get with a 9 or a 10.
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I remember watching a reality show on FOX several years ago (I forgot the name of the show). In one of the projects they did, they set up a clever trap for men who were already in relationships. What happened was the show had it set up where they guy got into an elevator and it "just so happened" that a hot chick walked into the same elevator with him. So it's just those two in the elevator. The girl in the elevator was porn star Tera Patrick. What they guy didn't know was that the producers of the show had a hidden camera set up in the elevator to record his conversation with Tera. The other thing he didn't know was that his girlfriend was watching the whole thing on a TV, ready to confront him is she saw something she didn't like.
So, those two get in the elevator. Now, I don't remember if the elevator got "stuck" or if it was an express elevator because the ride was long enough for them to strike up a nice chat. Anyway, she was being quite flirtatious with him, wanting to know what his name was, whether he had a girlfriend, where he lived, saying how nice he looks, all that. Tera then told him that she was going to a party the following night and wanted to invite him along and asked whether they can exchange phone numbers. The guy had no problem and went for the exchange. That's when the elevator ride was over. Now, remember, during the whole thing, the girlfriend is watching all of this.
When the doors opened, there she was, not happy. That's when he realized that he was set up and that he had to explain himself for accepting Tera's invitation to the party.
The producers did this to several men, not just him. The girlfriends looked pretty cute. I don't remember seeing one who I thought was fat and ugly.
That just went to show that when you put a hot chick into the equation, men make irrational or spur-of-the-moment decisions.
I don't know if the guys knew if she was a porn star, even though practically every man knows who she is. If they knew that was an actress, but tried playing it cool by not saying, "Oh, my God, you're Tera Patrick," then that must've given them the extra push they needed to getting her number. They were probably thinking to themselves that they would be extra cool if he hung out with a porn star (and extra cool if he wound having sex with her), an opportunity that comes once in a lifetime and an opportunity that many guys would envy him for it.
For anyone who does not know how Tera Patrick looks like, here she is:
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if they care about their relationship, then no, they love them just the same.
w/ me personally, i tend to fall deepy in love w/ whoever im courting.
-------------------- "Nina, this is my house, you work for me, and I want to suck your toes." -Big Trouble (2002) Posts: 1855 | Registered: Nov 2007
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posted
Let's see... Brad Pitt was with Jennifer Aniston and then dumped her for Angelina Jolie. According to the tabloids he was cheating on her with their children's nanny. No matter how beautiful a woman is that you are involved with eventually someone else will come along causing you to lose interest in what you have and then go for the chase.
However, that should be reserved for douche bags only. Nothing wrong with looking at all, but if you're committed in a relationship you definitely shouldn't be fucking around.
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I think it can enhance a relationship. It also works both ways. I used to send my girlfriend to Chippendale's every Friday night for her "Girls night out". When she got home she'd rape me!!
"Remember, no matter how good looking she is... Somebody, somewhere is tired of putting up with her shit!"
-------------------- It's a sick world, and I'm a happy guy! Posts: 762 | Registered: Jan 2005
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quote:Originally posted by sofatater: I think it can enhance a relationship. It also works both ways. I used to send my girlfriend to Chippendale's every Friday night for her "Girls night out". When she got home she'd rape me!!
"Remember, no matter how good looking she is... Somebody, somewhere is tired of putting up with her shit!"
Pretty pimp. Confident. I like your style.
-------------------- If she won't indulge your fetish, I bet you that cuter, smarter girl across the bar will. Lets go find out. Posts: 1877 | Registered: Aug 2006
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