I was on fetlife earlier and this fetishist, who had feet everywhere on his profile was like "anybody wanna play?" Which is perfectly valid imho since fetlife only exists to be the online meatmarket that it is... Oh sure, networking and announcements for the community are very cool, etc... but it's there for hookups for the most part.
This "Master" replies and is chastises the OP by being like "wtf is this, a whorefest? This is not a club! And calls the post rude. Now why the hell is it that there are all of these preconceived notions in the bdsm community that they are sooo super hot and cool that their way of thinking about pervy etiquette would trump any and all genres of perversion?
This guy just wanted to worship a girl. And I am sure that there was one girl in the L.A. area that would have indulged this dudes fetish. imho bdsm is much more ceremonial. Collar that person, ask permission for this, have a baby doll relationship, be D/s before someone could fully understand masochism, have to be a bottom before you can be a master, etc, etc.
Whereas fetishists are usually like just wear your stinkiest shoes all day and i will bring the whip cream...
BDSM thinks that we are the wayward incorrigible children of perversion, putting our lusts over reason and that we are "rude" because we don't follow a set standard of rules that defines us as a community,
Some of us look at BDSM as that spinster granny that will never let her hair down to have any fun at any time. We are blasting our favorite tunes and BDSM is like "turn that shit down!", giving us a frowny face and shaking her head in disgust...
...or at least that is my take on this online community. Funny it is, our relationship with our "oh so serious" cousins...
Posted by Tyler D. (Member # 11452) on :
quote:Originally posted by Beautifulfeetonline.com: BDSM thinks that we are the wayward incorrigible children of perversion, putting our lusts over reason
well i think they may have a little bit of a point when looking at that slice of their perspective. afterall, i do feel like i hear about more uncontrollable urges from foot fetishists in the news moreso than i tend to hear about BDSM people getting out of line, or being creepy & perverted.
it is great to be able to virtually lick and sniff at will though, rather than wait on ceremonial procedures that would grant a fetishist his wishes. i have always been more a fan of efficiency and getting right to the point. not a big fan of most circumstances that would delay pure pleasure (other than sexual tension).
foot fetishism tends to lead to more immediate gratification than suffering in the slings of BDSM before we are given permission to cum. there are few exceptions of course, such as foot voyuerism and candid creepy foot cams, or deceipt-for-feet, but for the most part, foot fetish offers better ways of getting our urges fulfilled in a timely fashion than BDSM.
[ January 25, 2011, 04:52 PM: Message edited by: Tyler D. ]
Posted by Beautifulfeetonline.com (Member # 13717) on :
yes that is true, I agree that most of us are pretty much into ASAP gratification or mindfucks. I think as a fetishist matures though, we are much more tactful, what with our whole lives being such a minefield of trail and error, seeing what works and what is totally crass or inappropriate in whatever setting that we are in.
Posted by Fiona McFee (Member # 39121) on :
It seems to me that judging the bdsm community by that one guy's response to someone wanting to play is about the same as judging foot fetishists by the creepy guy who gets caught snapping pictures of women's feet in public. In any kink community, you'll find extremes.
I'm on Fetlife as well and I've found it to be a very respectful place and I enjoy that about it. Yes, I'm sure that plenty of hookups happen through it, in fact I've had my share of foot fun with people I've met from it. However, because of the potential for predators on a power exchange oriented site, I think folks there can be hyper aware of 'whorefest' type of activity.
My real-world bdsm community experience is not so uptight and regulated as the particular online community Fetlife can seem. What I've found in the community (at least my local one) is very much a 'whatever floats your boat' attitude.
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