i've been dating a girl for a while now and am convinced she is the one. we're both in our mid 20's, and i am the first guy she ever had sex with. she has said repeatedly that she considers feet gross and has even said ew on the few occaisions that i've kissed her feet. yet she does seem to enjoy massages. she's not very experimental in bed and honestly, i don't want to do anything to make her uncomfortable. oddly enough, i'm having the best sex of my life with her, probably because of the level of devotion that i've never had before. anyone have any advice on getting her to work her feet in more, or should i just accept that i have a beautiful girlfriend who i love and count my blessings?
random side note on this, if anyone has any comments or a similar situation: she actually has the worst looking feet of any girl i've been with, yet its hers that i'm obsessed with. i can't help it. thank you for your help
Posted by secksrocks (Member # 30999) on :
She probably says "ew" because she knows she has ugly feet. My gf was uncomfortable with her feet because her cousins used to make fun of her small toes, which I find adorable. But I constantly tell her that her feet are amazingly cute, and back it up by saying things like long toes aren't cute or whatever. And I tell her she shouldn't be embarrassed of her feet because of how beautiful they are.. and she's actually started wearing sandals lately. I'm still workin' on trying to get her to wear high heels when she's wearing regular clothes -she only wears them when she wears nice formal clothes- but she says they hurt.
As far as working it into sex, she, like your gf, is also opposed to it. Does your gf even know you like feet? She might let you worship them if you let her know you do. My gf does, even though she makes it obvious that she's not getting any pleasure out of seeing me find pleasure. Whatever, it's as good as I can get it, I guess.
[ August 22, 2008, 02:49 AM: Message edited by: secksrocks ]
Posted by Keyfeet (Member # 27313) on :
Hey man you came to the right place, we have the best people here to help w/ those types of problems (myself included).
But I don't need to tell you this but of course you should count my blessings. Not b/c you have a beautiful girlfriend, but b/c you have someone who loves you as much as you love them. And that a beautiful thing. But never just accept that she doesn't like feet, you make here like feet. And it's nice to see that you don't judge girls based on feet.
Here is my top 10 list
10. Show your feet more. She might be able to get comfortable about the whole "gross feet" thing if she sees that your comfortable with your feet.
9. Get her piss drunk and go to town w/ those piggies.
8. Play the sock game with her.
7. Take her socks off while shes sleeping and suck her toes. If she wakes up, don't stop. Keep going, and one day she might look foward to having her toes sucked when she wakes up.
6. Tell her, "you have such nice feet" (say it whenever you see her feet, but not more than twice a day. Lie if you have to. Repetition is the key).
5. Buy her some flip-flops to wear outside and get a pair to wear inside if shes not already barefoot.
4. TICKLE FIIIIGHT!!!!
3. Compromise, ask her for some foot action in return for something she wants from you.
2. Get her a labor day pedicure, your treat.
#1. Take it slow and don't give up. Any baby learing how to walk doesn't learn it in one try. They keep trying, and key is, don't get mad. A baby never gets mad when they aren't able to walk. Come here first. We will help you.
oh and your welcome.
Posted by nusuth (Member # 7372) on :
i'm not sure i agree with Keyfeet on any of his suggestions except 1 & 2. especially 1. if she is the one as you believe, you have years and years ahead of you and as you become more comfortable with each other and want to please each other more and more trusting in your relationship, she very well might become more accepting and, maybe even, into your preference.
quote: 7. Take her socks off while shes sleeping and suck her toes. If she wakes up, don't stop. Keep going, and one day she might look foward to having her toes sucked when she wakes up.
and do that one if you surely want her to lose all trust in you and feel that you dont respect her at all except as a piece of meat.
Posted by RPM (Member # 2895) on :
nusuth, you saved the forum from my long post. i agree with you!
Posted by dougiezerts (Member # 6829) on :
I think you should just come out and admit it. If you can't see yourself being this bold, then you could give subtle hints. When the two of you are hanging out on the couch, massage/play with her feet.
Posted by feetluvr (Member # 1570) on :
quote:Originally posted by kevin1984: oddly enough, i'm having the best sex of my life with her, probably because of the level of devotion that i've never had before. anyone have any advice on getting her to work her feet in more, or should i just accept that i have a beautiful girlfriend who i love and count my blessings?
Things take time. As others have said, the most important thing is finding , and hopefully keeping, someone you can have that kind of relationship with. It truly is special.
Going deeper physically and emotionally, especially sexually will come with time and patience as you grow closer together. You'll probably find that she'll want to do foot-related things for you just to make you happy.
There's nothing wrong with gently trying to encourage her by: treating her to a pedi, or buying her some flip-flops, or giving her foot massages. And of course don't be afraid to tell her just how much you like her feet and what they mean to you. Just make sure that her feet are not the ONLY thing you focus on and discuss.
quote:she actually has the worst looking feet of any girl i've been with, yet its hers that i'm obsessed with.
I positively had to address this issue as twenty some years ago when I was dating and marrying my wife, neither she nor I thought much of her feet. I found the one foot slightly more attractive after she had surgery to remove a bad bunion, but I wasn't truly attracted to her feet at all.
What is that they say? "Love is blind" and "Love conquers all". Both very true. Not long after I divulged my foot fetish and she started indulging me I fell deeply in love with them. Sure, a part of that is simply the psychology of knowing that they're totally "my feet" and only for my enjoyment, but she does have very cute toes and a killer arch. (She has rather long, skinny feet and toes). She wears a set of 3 toe rings on the second toe of each foot (just like I like) and anklets 24/7 for my enjoyment.
So be patient, concentrate first and foremost on her as a person (focusing on her feet can truly objectify sex- a whole 'nuther discussion) and your relationship and I think you'll find that someday soon, she'll be the foot Goddess of your dreams.
Posted by LuckyTeen (Member # 30822) on :
If she feels the same way about you as you do her you need to say to her that although she may think it's weird recently you have been thinking about her feet and how much you want to treat them and show her how much you appreciate them because they are attached to her regardless of what she thinks of them.
Try to talk to her on her level such as saying yeah I have been having weird thoughts with your feet running through my mind and it won't go away lol. Be sarcastic and make her laugh.
Say to her, you really think you could make her believe her feet were beautiful with what your tongue wants to do to them, that she wouldn't think twice if she let you put it to work, be cheeky and arouse her curiosity. Make her WANT IT!
And then talk to her how she feels about her feet and if she doesn't like them offer to give or get her a pedicure and buy her some gorgeous shoes to flatter her feet more.
But then reassure her it's all for her and her confidence an not because you think she needs it.
Good luck.
Posted by bluetoelover (Member # 14736) on :
If you guys have been going out long enough for marriage then it definetly is long enough for you to 'drop the bomb' to her Just say it with confidence...be frank. I'm not sure what your into but for example "Baby...listen...your feet drive me nuts...so nuts in fact I want to blow my nuts all over them" Posted by Keyfeet (Member # 27313) on :
nusuth I appreciate you not slamming me and just politely disagreed. Because when you said
quote: i'm not sure i agree with Keyfeet on any of his suggestions
it made you look a very polite person. And I am glad you didn’t say "Keyfeet, that is the stupidest fucking advice you could of given you prick". That would have made you look like a jerk.
Since I got that out of the way, let me defend myself for #7. I think that if they are truly in love, it would not be a big deal if he’s sucking her toes or not. I'm not telling him to do that to a complete stranger or someone he barely knows. It's his girlfriend. And if they plan to spend their whole lives together, there should be no problem with the toe-sucking. By what he described, they have a lot of history together. Sure, she might find it nasty the first time, but I do think that over time she will find it flattering.
But I will agree too, sure everything may not be right for his situation (hell, some of them were put there for comedy purposes), but I tried to give kevin a bunch of ideas in list format. In the end, it is up to him what he decides to do. He may not use any of his suggestions or he may use all of them.
Posted by Lyrical (Member # 6603) on :
If she will not change her mind and feet are that importnat to you, then she may not really be the one. the flip side is that you being her first she my be very inexperienced with sex and exploration in general so I would think oppen communication is in order. If she really loves you and you are her one also then she should be willing to please you as much as you're willing to please her. Something to think about!!
Posted by kevin1984 (Member # 27197) on :
thanks guys, you've been a lot of help. keyfeet, i probably will use some of those. as a lot of you suggested, i will compliment her feet when i can. to respond to lyrical, i'd rather go without feet then go without her. thank you to all of you and i will keep you posted on how things go. unfortunately, due to us meeting after she had been accepted to another school, she's going to school 300 miles away and we're meeting up once every couple weeks, so it will move much slower
Posted by Toetapper (Member # 6473) on :
quote:Originally posted by bluetoelover: If you guys have been going out long enough for marriage then it definetly is long enough for you to 'drop the bomb' to her Just say it with confidence...be frank. I'm not sure what your into but for example "Baby...listen...your feet drive me nuts...so nuts in fact I want to blow my nuts all over them"
I agree with the sentiment, candor is very important in a relationship, though I might be a bit more gentle in the delivery.
An extra word of advice: if the two of you haven't passed the age of 27, don't ring the wedding chimes yet. Give yourselves some time to get past the rage of hormones that you still experience.
Beyond that, after you "drop the bomb", be patient and give her some time to come to grips with your foot-passion and see if she can accommodate that with her feelings.
Posted by LuckyTeen (Member # 30822) on :
Yeah, you don't need to deprive yourself of what you want from the relationship, emotionally or sexually.
I mean it's like saying to her is foreplay important to you? Then to say well to be honest I don't really want to spend the time so we shall skip it.
It's true foot action isn't everything in the relationship to us but it's still very important. If I never got any I wouldn't be as happy as I am at the minute. Posted by lamp (Member # 19270) on :
i agree that you need to take it slow and be patient but it is very frustrating if she is very narrow minded with it and you can often feel like there is no hope.
in my recent relationship of 3 years it took me a lot of work and patience to get my partner open to the idea but she never really liked it, saying thins like she hated her toes sucked and giving footjobs reciving massages etc. but she did do these things when the relationship was at its strong point and i worked to be patient and nice about stuff i could get my reward. if you can be happy to work for that then there is always hope. if she's the one she'll do what she can to make you happy also.
where i went wrong in my relationship was getting angry and it put pressure on my girlfriend. ive learned that you have to be patient to inevitably have a stress free sex life and recive indulgence in your fantasy's. but also to recieve that you need a girlfriend that is willing to open her mind. personaly i wasnt happy with my ex for several reasons, we also had a bad sex life and she wanst willing to let me explore my foot fetish properly. the whole relationship broke down and i decided that i couldnt live with all that unhappyness becasue life is too short.
my one and only advice is to be patient, get her into it slowly but if she doesnt open her mind and you are constantly giving and not receiving and this continues for a long time then i suggest considering if she is the one? people on this forum told me this for about a year or 2 lol and i hated hearing it but you've gotta see the bigger picture and dont ever beat yourself up for having a foot fetish. i did and it was painfull!
Posted by lamp (Member # 19270) on :
communication is a big key also. another thing people told me on this forum!
mind you i tried with my ex and it always ended with arguing, anything concerning the relationship.
i have a new girlfriend now and its completely different. really chilled out and we talk about sex etc. a lot. it seems to help and we feel much more comfortable.
i told her about my foot fetish upfront. she thought it wasnt a big dea and has been asking questions etc. she seems willing to get into it but im not gonna rush into it or push her.
by the sounds of things you are doing a similar thing so your not doing anything wrong! you'vedone the best thing you can. try not to see it as an issue untill it really gets hopeless. thinking positive helps a lot too Posted by LuckyTeen (Member # 30822) on :
Lamp for finding a girl more open to your fantasies! Posted by lamp (Member # 19270) on :
thank you lucky teen! ive been waiting many years for the opportunity! finding an easy going girl does make a huge difference and makes me want to love her in every way haha!
Posted by raja (Member # 6573) on :
I told my gf about my love for feet after our first date and we were texting and she said that she had a lesbian experience a while ago and hoped it didnt freak me out..i txt her back saying i have a foot fetish and hoped it didnt freak her out. she replied "thats hot and what do you like about feet?" She had never had her toes sucked and now loves it and gets turned on when she knows she can turn me on so fast with her feet. I used to not tell girls but the past few girls i dated up to my current gf i just throw it out there. I have had one girl not keep dating me and a great situation like i am in with my current gf.
Posted by mywifesfeet (Member # 2630) on :
Be patient with her and be honest. It might take time but I am betting you can convince her that her bare feet are NOT gross.
Give her and her feet many many many compliments.
Posted by Toesucker85 (Member # 16795) on :
quote:Originally posted by dougiezerts: I think you should just come out and admit it. If you can't see yourself being this bold, then you could give subtle hints. When the two of you are hanging out on the couch, massage/play with her feet.
wow! i do the same, i always give little hints like that then they say stuff like "i got pretty feet dont i"? then thats the usual moment i open up to her.
![[Laugh]](graemlins/laugh.gif)
Be sarcastic and make her laugh.![[Tongue]](tongue.gif)
Just say it with confidence...be frank. I'm not sure what your into but for example "Baby...listen...your feet drive me nuts...so nuts in fact I want to blow my nuts all over them" ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Thumbs Up]](graemlins/thumbsup.gif)
Lamp for finding a girl more open to your fantasies!