I have a bit of a predicament here... Even though (or maybe because of) we're apart this summer due to my work, I just recently totally opened up to my wife about everything related to my fetish: the fact that I believe I have a foot/footwear fetish; every detail I love about feet; foot-related things I want her to do that she hasn't done yet, and even my participation here at Wu's (though I did not name the forum).
She's been totally accepting and openly accepting of it and me. Even to the point of asking if she should/could come to the forum to read threads and posts, mostly (I think) out of curiosity and aprtly because she wants to please me. My dilemna is whether I should let her or not.
I know that she'd learn lots of positive things about the fetish and us footguys, but I also know that she's probably be a bit freaked out by some of the stuff too. Lastly, even if I don't tell her my username, if she reads enough threads (and she has lots of time to read since she's home alone) for two more months, that she'll figure out my username and what I've said.
What would you do if you were in my shoes?
Thanks guys (and girls) I appreciate your input!
Posted by RJ82 (Member # 20037) on :
if she's already been this openly accepting of everything so far, i don't see why it would hurt to let her see the forum. i mean you could always tell her that not everything that people say on here is how you feel, and each person has their own likes/dislikes. in the end it's up to you bro, just do what you feel would be best Posted by Eliza Durden (Member # 22995) on :
I think she would be accepting of it. I didn't quite understand until I learned more about it. And I can tell you I have learned a lot here on the forums.
It sounds like she is very open-minded and I think you should not be afraid to let her in on this part of your life.
Posted by Fate111 (Member # 2627) on :
I agree with everything said above. She has been accepting of your likes and, as RJ stated, everyone has different opinions, likes, etc.. As long as she understands that not everything everyone says is how you feel, I think she would be fine with this forum. It seems that she would probably know that already so there wouldn't be any problems.
As Eliza said, your wife seems to be very open- minded. Having her come in just to lurk may help her understand the whole foot thing even better and could actually help both of you be closer as a couple.
Posted by deeparchlover (Member # 7021) on :
I let my wife read along with me when I'm online. It helped her to undertand that foot guys have difference preferences intead of lumping all of us into one big freaky mysterious catagory. Together we read the good and bad so she can see what is common and what is extreme for us. I also let her read some of the freakier posts ( sorry if I offend some of you but some of the things said in this forum can be scary ) so she can be aware of what type of guys are 'out there'.
Posted by feetluvr (Member # 1570) on :
Thanks all- I appreciate the advice. And I think you're right, she'd probably be OK with it. However, I did a review of my posts (as far back as they go) and discovered that there are a few that she would not like were she to figure out my username. In fact, they'd really be bad (mentioned some sex stuff with another girl that I've never told her about). I may wait until I get home so we can do it together and I can steer her clear of some threads/posts.
Posted by anakondaa (Member # 3573) on :
Is it worth you talking to her about the forum and perhaps to some degree warn her that there may be some 'freaky' stuff by some of us here and warn her before hand so a) she is prepared and b)may decide if she wants to look or not?
Regarding your posts, I would feel a bit anxious about my girl (if I had one right now) reading all my stuff, although I think it may be ok to run that risk, I can't see that too much harm could come of it, and as said before it might bring you closer and be able to try new things?
Posted by Tyler D. (Member # 11452) on :
me personally, if i was married, i would never let my wife see the forums I hang out at. she would divorce me in a heartbeat cuz she'll really know how much I really love and obsess over feet.
Posted by Lou Gojira (Member # 983) on :
This dilemma reminds me of an episode of Seinfeld where George had a similar problem...if his fiance Susan were to start hanging out with him, Jerry, Elaine, and Kramer at the same time, how would that effect him? George broke it down into two categories...while he was with his friends he was more relaxed and carefree, and while he was with Susan he was "Relationship George". In the end, he didn't want "the worlds to collide" so he didn't want Susan hanging out within his circle of friends.
In your situation my Brother, this would be what I'd say to you. IF you had been upfront about everything 10 or 20 years ago (sorry, I forgot how long you said you've been married), and IF your wife was already used to "Foot-Obsessed feetluvr", then by all means you should welcome her to these forums. As it stands though, she's slowly getting used to "Foot-Obsessed feetluvr", and is already used to and I'm sure quite lovingly enjoys "Loving Husband and Father feetluvr"...with just a dash of "Foot-Obsessed feetluvr" thrown in from time to time to keep things intriguing.
My Bro, these forums have been your sanctuary, and you've been able to open up on here to degree's you have yet to open up to in real life. If your wife see's two different guys in you, going by how you behave in the real world, and the things you like to talk about here...it could throw the poor lady for a real tail-spin! Two visions of the same man colliding...and the results might not be pretty at all.
That's not to say you've typed some things that could land you in divorce court, or you've talked about things that make you sound like a total sexual deviant. I'm just saying that you, like everybody else in this world, need their own "secret place", and these forums have provided that for you...
So think of this in two ways...your benefit and her benefit. Do you stand to gain a single thing by having your wife read these forums? She's obviously open-minded enough to try the things you ask her to try, so let her take those baby-steps until she's running marathons...don't come up behind her and shove her by having her look at these forums. If anything, it'd seem to me that you stand to lose more than you could gain.
Secondly, how is this going to benefit her? So she knows your little kinks and hang-ups...is it really that important for her to know mine? Or Wu's? Or any of all the other Brothers and Sisters that hang out around here? Heck no...she's your wife, you're her man...her pleasing you and you pleasing her is all that really matters between you two.
Leave well-enough alone my Bro.
Hope this helps. Posted by feetluvr (Member # 1570) on :
Well Lou- once again you've masterfully and succintly presented a very rational argument. It was wonderful to hear that from a friend who was here when I first started at Wu's and helped me take both those early baby-steps and encouraged my bigger steps. Thank you bro! Excellent advice which I am going to heed!
[ June 05, 2007, 08:14 AM: Message edited by: feetluvr ]
Posted by Mighty Mike (Member # 1922) on :
I really don't see what she gains by reading the forums
lets be honest this is a jerkoff forum
kind of seems like an invasion of privacy if you ask me
Posted by Lou Gojira (Member # 983) on :
quote:Originally posted by feetluvr: Well Lou- once again you've masterfully and succintly presented a very rational argument. It was wonderful to hear that from a friend who was here when I first started at Wu's and helped me take both those early baby-steps and encouraged my bigger steps. Thank you bro! Excellent advice which I am going to heed!
You're welcome my friend. Posted by Blondetoes (Member # 23795) on :
AS a female and a partner to someone who has a big foot fetish, He only just showed me this place about a week ago. Due to the fact he was worried I would freak out or think him a perv, which I am insulted by as I have loved everything he has every shown me and done to my feet. I enjoy coming on this "jerk off forum" as much as he does now. Your wife like me may find it a huge turn on. Good luck with it any way
Posted by TicklingFiend (Member # 10765) on :
well its not really your place to deny her of her curious endeavoring is it? Go ahead and give her the link. We're all friends here, and its not like were pigs that would start drooling over her. To my knowledge, we're all reputable people her, right? Its her right to know how good/creepy your fetish is, so at least she'll be fully knowledgeable of it. This is only my opinion, however.
Posted by LeDaemon (Member # 198) on :
Nooo! Don't let a girl into the fort!
I show my wife stuff here from time to time like replies to her picture posts, but she really isn't interested in a sex forum at all. She's more interested in Googling for historical facts and looking up recipes.
Posted by feetluvr (Member # 1570) on :
Thanks guys and gals for all your opinions! Turned out to be a more lively debate than I imagined it would.
As I mentioned previously my biggest concern is that she'd figure out my username (if I didn't outright tell her what it was) and see a few posts where I talked about a former GF and some stuff I've never told her about. (Neither one of us shared any great details about any of our former lovers before or after we got married)
Not that I think she'd do that much reading of back posts on the forum- but you never know- she's at home alone for another two months, so it's possible she'd read alot fo stuff.
In may ways as Blondetoes and Ticklingfiend mentioned I think she'd be fascinated by the many divergent acitivities and aspects of foot-love expressed here (which I've already shared with her to some extent) In some ways I'd like her to satisfy her own curiosity to the extent she desires.
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