first of all if this isnt the right section, sorry. but i gotta get this off my chest,, but its female related so im putting it here...
IN MY OBSERVATIONS w/ women who seem to want a man who is honest w/ them , yet when the question comes up, they are preparing to unleash some fury on the man if they say yes...WTF gives??!! this double standard issue really bothers me especially when it seems like some girls seem to think they can get away w/ throwing snappy insults at us males because were supposed to " take it like a man"
heres what i get out of it, and i must admit im also somewhat venting when i say all this:
A" if you are not ready for the answer, dont ask the question!!!!! B if the answer is yes IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU ARE BIG, FAT CHUBBY SLUTTY OR WHATEVER!!!, but rather the way it fits on you... c. wouldnt you rather your s.o. tell you the truth, than tell you what u want to hear and have some other asshole say it in a much meaner way and get into a much bigger confrontation when your boyfriend husband has to bang out w/ the asshole who just insulted you?...
This post was in no way meant to offend anyone... just speaking my mind in a civilized grown up way....dudes, ladies, whoever feel free to put in some input... peace. -pedactor
Posted by bluetoelover (Member # 14736) on :
Your god damn right ped! My girl does this cruel and unusual form of punishment to me every time we go shopping! I just cant understand it...she asks me what do u think of this on me? i say what every guy says "yes dear it looks awesome on you" throw in a smile that looks good and hope for the best.Or sometimes I actually tell the truth that it does in fact look good or vice versa I say dont buy it she says Oh I look fat now do I? or some bullshit thing like that! I confronted her on this when we got home once and she said her reasoning for this is that she likes to be reassured by me that she isnt fat! Some insecurities I think, but no matter how many times I go shopping with her and tell her my honest 100% answer(that was the new agreement) she is still saying I am just saying that to please her and not hurt her feelings.Well I just about told her to eff off...but decided that for the sake of my sex life I better not say that! So she now gets our gay roomate to go shopping with her over me! Which you would think I would be like about fuckin time but for some reason I take this as an insult...yes we all know that homosexual's have gained notoriety for being fashion experts from that Queer Eye show but I just feel its "our" thing...as much as I hate and dread it.
Posted by Fate111 (Member # 2627) on :
Well, if we all had to be really honest, the conversation would go something like this...
Her: Honey, does this clothing make me look fat?
Him: No, your fat makes you look fat!
Posted by pedactor (Member # 12893) on :
quote:Originally posted by Fate111: Well, if we all had to be really honest, the conversation would go something like this...
Her: Honey, does this clothing make me look fat?
Him: No, your fat makes you look fat!
Posted by Outback69 (Member # 2217) on :
My whole thought on this is that if she is asking you if she looks fat/slutty/skinny then she is already thinking that she is fat/slutty/skinny and just needs an outside her own mind opinion to confirm the way that she feels.
Best advice that has worked for me is to first off compliment her on what you like about the outfit and then maybe throw in a "but" about the outfit "doesn't look like it fits right". Blame the clothing, not her.
If that doesn't work, then I say go with Fate's advice! By that point it would seem you've already lost, so there's no point in trying for a comeback!
Posted by Martial Law (Member # 2564) on :
I think I'd say something like "Baby, you know your potbelly turns me on. Now shake that big sexy ass!"
Posted by pedactor (Member # 12893) on :
quote:Originally posted by Outback69: My whole thought on this is that if she is asking you if she looks fat/slutty/skinny then she is already thinking that she is fat/slutty/skinny and just needs an outside her own mind opinion to confirm the way that she feels.
Best advice that has worked for me is to first off compliment her on what you like about the outfit and then maybe throw in a "but" about the outfit "doesn't look like it fits right". Blame the clothing, not her.
If that doesn't work, then I say go with Fate's advice! By that point it would seem you've already lost, so there's no point in trying for a comeback!
positive reinforcement is a good idea. because it turns into constructive critisism, which is always good...
Posted by pedactor (Member # 12893) on :
quote:Originally posted by Martial Law: I think I'd say something like "Baby, you know your potbelly turns me on. Now shake that big sexy ass!"
Posted by RPM (Member # 2895) on :
i hear you all on this thread.. i've got the good fortune to have a lady not go off on me if i told her an outfit didn't flatter her figure and i don't want to see it on her while i'm around. (said much more politely of course)
only had to address that one time.. the outfit was a bad combo that made her look like a blimp.. individually.. the pieces were fine and work with other pieces just fine.. but together.. nope. so.. she has not done that given combo again.
the part i also told her i don't enjoy.. when i compliment her and she shoots it down with the lame line that i'm her man i'm supposed to say it. i got mad once and told her that given my Y chromosome and my socialization to find and look at sexy women.. and my 20/20 vision.. i know what looks good and what doesn't. i know what i like and what i don't like.. i don't appreciate she calling me a liar by rejecting my compliments and if she keeps it up.. i'll only share my compliments with someone who will actually appreciate it and she no longer has the right to be upset if i don't notice her efforts.
that curbed the rejection real quick!!!!! reason why i was so harsh and so blunt.. after many years together.. i got really tired of the double standard and just spoke my mind. Granted i wrote it much harsher than i said it.. but the point was well taken and she's adjusted accordingly.... could be part of why sometimes she won't do the heels n hose i like so much.. but that is more my paranoia kicking in.
she said later.. she appreciates my honesty but didn't like hearing it.. but she knew after that.. she could count on me speaking my mind no matter how she acts and behaves and that to her helped some of her insecurities.
don't ask me to explain.. i don't get it.. but.. i'm one of the super lucky guys.. she never asked me if an outfit makes her look fat.. her reasoning.. she doesn't want me to honestly answer that question.
my lady is super cool.. but keeps me quessing
RPM
Posted by Bondo (Member # 1403) on :
In cases like those, the woman obviously isn't looking for an honest answer. She knows the honest answer.
I've only been married for five years, so I haven't yet figured out what kind of answer my wife is looking for when she asks those sorts of questions.
My solution: diversion, change the subject, get out of there quick!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wife: "Honey, does this dress make me look fat"
Me: "No, but those shoes make you look sexy as all hell". ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How's that?
Bondo
Posted by Outback69 (Member # 2217) on :
quote:Originally posted by Bondo: My solution: diversion, change the subject, get out of there quick!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wife: "Honey, does this dress make me look fat"
Me: "No, but those shoes make you look sexy as all hell". ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How's that?
Bondo
BA-DUM-BUM!
Where's a rimshot sound when you need it?
Posted by ozkar (Member # 13264) on :
She doesn't want truth, she just wants confirmation that the pants look bad and some kind of compliment to make her feel like it's the pants and not her ass.
"love your ass, hate the pants"
Don't say why you hate the pants, just say you hate them and that you'd like to take a bite out of her sexy ass like it's some kind of naughty apple. If you say they look good or try to slip away, she knows you are lying.
Posted by Bondo (Member # 1403) on :
It's the oldest trick in the Book of Estrogenology. I used to get the deer in the headlights look when I heard questions like those.
Incidentally, the oldest trick in the Book of Testosteronology is "Pull my finger". Unfortunately they figure that one out pretty quickly.
I don't suppose any ladies might want to interject some insight onto this subject (the "does this make me look fat" subject, not "pull my finger")?
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