When I first started dating my girlfriend the subject of people with foot fetishes came up. She said, "I just don't understand that one." I said, "Oh really?" To which she replied, "Yeah, why do you have one?" Well fellas I panicked and said, "No" We had only been seeing each other for like a week at the time and I didn't want to freak her out. Now it wouldn't be so bad if her feet weren't gorgeous but they are and all I want to do is have my way with them. But I don't know how to bring it up now. I mean she likes when I massage them and stuff but I want more if you know what I mean. Any ideas?
Posted by scarlet (Member # 2117) on :
embrace it.
I have never and will never buy into the propagandistic views like "start off by saying you like them, buy her lotions and place gentle kisses from time to time" that seemingly someone says in every thread like this one. The end result isn't going to 'fool' her, or 'ease her into it'. If she is a mature girl, she will be open to it. Just embrace it, don't act like you're easing into hot water and just be casual about it. she'll divulge you
Posted by jediofthefeet (Member # 1463) on :
Saying "No" was a mistake I made with a girl I liked. It reduced me to planting a couple of kissed on the tops of her feet, and giving each of them a massage lasting less than a minute.
We only saw each other 2-3 times, and I never had my chance with them again.
Posted by mattu2 (Member # 9895) on :
Yeah I really wish I had handled it better when it happened. I mean she loves it when I massage them and once we were kidding around and she put one up to my face and told me to kiss it which I did quite eagerly I might add. The biggest thing I fear isn't so much that she'd freak about it, she's pretty open minded, it's more that I lied about it. It's literally the only time I haven't been 100% honest with her.
Posted by FTPHANTOM (Member # 47) on :
I dont know if you 2 are having sex yet,but when ever you do,tell her you love her from head to toe or toe to head,and show her.
Posted by RPM (Member # 2895) on :
don't sweat it. she put her foot to your face and asked you to kiss. if it comes up later, tell her you didn't want to freak her out and you wanted to be cool. you do like her feet, but more so because it's attached to her and if she's cool with it, you'd like to do a little more than just massage and kiss, but not so much more it's crazy. then go from there. tell her that if it is ever too much, say so, cause you get excited about her so much you can't help yourself. and then go with the flow. her offering you to kiss means she's not as prone to freak out as you think
RPM
Posted by Lou Gojira (Member # 983) on :
quote:Originally posted by mattu2: The biggest thing I fear isn't so much that she'd freak about it, she's pretty open minded, it's more that I lied about it. It's literally the only time I haven't been 100% honest with her.
That doesn't sound like so much a "fear" as it does a "personal guilt-trip". But hey, you obviously uphold honesty and that's always a good thing.
Look at it like this: Sure, you lied a little when the subject came up, but then you were put on the spot, or rather felt you were anyway. How many people can be totally relaxed and honest about everything when they're put on the spot over anything? I'm not preaching or trying to get Biblical here, but even Simon-Peter lied when he was asked if he knew Jesus Christ or not...three times straight if you're familiar with the story, and this man was a disciple! And similar to your situation, he too was put on the spot...only difference being he was fearing for his life and you were afraid of some embarassment.
In other words, yes, you flubbed it some, but don't sweat it too much because consider the situation. You weren't fibbing for the sake of fibbing, you just got nervous and "dropped the ball" so to speak. But like the old saying goes, "a screw-up is only a screw-up if you don't fix it", so I say you simply go back and fix whatever needs fixing and there should be no harm done. How you go about fixing things is entirely up to you...whether it be bringing the subject up so you can talk about it, waiting for an opportunity to demonstrate your attraction physically, or whatever...but kicking your own ass over being nervous and fibbing a little is counter-productive, because we're all guilty of it sooner or later.
Your girl sounds like she'd be very open-minded with it, and I'd wager that she wouldn't bust your balls at all for your being nervous that one time. Heck, she may even see it as you looking out for her and not wanting to freak her out!
Just go fix it and stop the bad feeling. You're a good man for something like this bothering you, so learn from it and move on. Best wishes in whatever you decide to do. Posted by Calico Jack (Member # 2299) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lou Gojira: But like the old saying goes, "a screw-up is only a screw-up if you don't fix it", so I say you simply go back and fix whatever needs fixing and there should be no harm done.
Lou's right on the money. You need to get back in there and work some damage control as quickly as possible. The longer things fester with her thinking that you don't have a passion for female feet, the harder it will likely be for her to accept when she finds out that you actually do - not because of her feelings toward the fetish itself, but moreso because of her feelings regarding honesty & trust issues. Like Lou, I too believe that this situation can definitely be salvaged, but regardless of how this particular situation works out, I'd say that the whole thing can be chalked up to a learning experience which taught you to be honest and forthright the next time around. Good luck with it, matt!
Calico Jack
Posted by Lou Gojira (Member # 983) on :
Thanks Brother CJ, and you make a great point that I neglected to hit upon...that is, fix it soon! Posted by mattu2 (Member # 9895) on :
Thanks everyone. I definitely have to rectify this. I have no doubt that I'm with this girl for the long haul so if I don't then no feet for me, ever again! And that's not something I'm prepared to deal with.
Posted by mattu2 (Member # 9895) on :
I know this is an old post of mine but I finally got up the nerve to tell her. And she was totally cool with it
Posted by FTPHANTOM (Member # 47) on :
Cool!! Posted by F18Hornet (Member # 11172) on :
Good for you Matt. I missed this thread the first time around. I know that it's sometimes hard to tell your girlfriend about your proclivities but full respect to you for plucking up the courage. I wish you both all the best, and remember slow and steady wins the race. As ever, Lou and CJ provided some sound advice, and I'm pleased it all worked out well for you. Enjoy it buddy - you've opened up the door to a set of future experiences for her that she probably had not previously considered.
Posted by retif64 (Member # 12) on :
Well done !!!! Let us know how it works... Posted by climax (Member # 6641) on :
This is just some advice in general and may not apply to this particular situation.
i agree with others, say yes, if they say yeah, say " what makes you think i know" theylll reply saying " well your the one with the fetish so surely you should know why you got it, then say " are you implying that i CHOOSE to be this way?" whatever there asnwer, then ask " does a homosexual know "why" he/she feels that way about the same sex", some wise ass will say, cuz their gay, then say " why are they" what ever there answer say, " they dont have a choice, they are that way and they can either choose to except it or deny it, its the same with me, those are the only two choice i have, theres no off switch, and denying cant be good for ya, why should i live a lie, just so everyone else will accept me, is that being true to myself?, i choose to accept and embrace what I am and be proud of it, theres a lot of worse things out there (then come up with some, like poo fetish, etc) and close by sayin, if you have a problem, then WE have a problem.
If after all that theres still ridicule, just tell you dont want to accociate with someone who doesnt like you for you, leave it there and find someone who does.
Alternativley, you could ask " what do YOU like", let them asnwer, then say "why?" some will say, because its normal, say "what do you mean by that? they will say cuz everyone does it, and you reply " so your only into it cuz everyone else is? which ever route you take, if they ask why you like feet, just say i dunno, its the way i am.
just a few ideas, the bottom line is, when they question you, question them back, their ideals, their sexuality, if they have any sense they will realise that anything they say about your sexuality, you can say about theres.
Posted by RPM (Member # 2895) on :
glad you squared that away.. the fact she's playing with you to me means she had an idea... and was cool all along.
enjoy it.. good luck to you two!
RPM
Posted by FtLckr26 (Member # 13998) on :
Awesome and congratulations! Glad to hear it worked out ok. So is she into having her feet worshipped or is she doing it just for you?
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