So this is my first post, and it comes with a little psychological bs, but I figure I might as well post--I've written it.
I guess I want to discuss what it's like to grow and develop with an inclination towards feet, to have a foot fetish, whatever. Maybe some of you will have some input or similar experiences to contribute...if you even read this; it's so long! I'm writing this for myself more than anything else, but I hope some of you find it a good read.
First, a little about me: I'm a guy in my early 30s, and I've been into feet for nearly as long as I can remember. For much of my life, I've seen my attraction to feet as a problem. I no longer do, but I'm still pretty closeted. I'm not shy on the rare instances when people confront me about my interest, but I don't broadcast my preference either--well, unless I'm letting a girl know that she has beautiful feet
K, so basically, I think that my attraction to feet contributed to my shyness growing up--influencing me to develop more introvertedly (Holy shit! That's the main point, and it's pretty weird as I reread this--awesome). I'm sure there are many other contributing factors, but given the forum we're on, I'm going to focus on that.
THE STORY
Grunge was becoming really popular when I was in high school; therefore, lots of people thought it was cool to look like they were depressed...to walk with their heads down, and I followed suit. I wouldn't say I was the happiest kid, but I'm pretty sure I didn't feel like curt cobain. Plus, I'm still alive. At the time though, I saw the trend as a fantastic opportunity. By looking down when I was walking between classes, I could check out girls' feet. I fabricated a persona for myself, one which facilitated me to check girls out while looking like any other stoned-out grunge kid. I liked feet before high school, so following the trend did not engender my proclivity for them; it just gave me a good excuse to discretely pursue my interests. I think that making that decision had a significant impact on my life though. It should have. I was a teenager finding an identity.
An example: Along one of the routes to get to class, there was this very attractive young woman whom I would often see on the way. I would look forward to it, and she had stunning feet. She was a couple years above me, and we never really knew each other. We hardly made attempts at acknowledgment. Sometimes I wonder if I could have gotten a chance to know her if I wasn't preoccupied with her feet. I remember several occurrences when she would smile at me as we passed. I would smile too, but once I did, I usually glanced down to get a look at her hot little toes. Kinda kills the game. If I act similarly these days (and I still do--albeit with far more control), I feel like I've missed an opportunity--missing out on a potential experience (a social one) just to sneak a look a some chick's feet.
I really like the social connection you can make with someone after extended eye contact. The awareness that two people have of each other when their eyes amicably meet is much more gratifying for me than satisfying an impulse to view a body part. Those connections are hardly rare, but they become rarer when I'm preoccupied with seeing whatever some lady's feet look like (it's a cyclical habit for me). That need and ability to quench such instant gratification, however, can become pretty habitual, so at times, I miss out more than I'd like to. It's totally not the end of the world, but it still kinda blows.
Why can I lack discipline in this regard? I don't blatantly check women's breasts out, and I don't just stare at their asses. I would enjoy doing both, but I don't do that for several reasons, and my preoccupation with feet is not really one of them. It's inappropriate to just look at women's breasts. Women will let you know how frustrating it is when some dude just checks her out with no regard to her awareness of the situation. When you are talking to a girl at a bar, outside or where ever, and she notices that you keep looking down her shirt, what could be flattering as an occasional glance, can quickly annoy the shit out of her. It's disrespectful. But if some shy guy, who doesn't keep focus on her eyes, innocuously looks down at the ground during a conversation, he gets to be kinda cute instead. I mean, she may not think that you'll rock her world or anything, but hell, it's almost endearing. I know some women have known that I was ogling their toes, but most don't. I wonder if they would feel disrespected if they knew. Women are more than just feet...
I had to train myself not to glare at boobs or follow girl's asses with my eyes. Most guys do, but we don't have to do the same with feet. It's ok to look at them. Few people have a clue about what you're doing if you exercise a little control. Many people look down naturally. Guys look at breasts naturally too, but it’s not accepted, so as males, many of us discipline ourselves to not stare down cleavage at every opportunity, esp not in a professional environment. At the same time, women cover their breasts. They're private, and for a reason. But what if you like feet too? What if you like them more? And women show them off all the time! "Do you like my nails? I just got a pedicure..." how many women flash their tits to you after they apply some new cream to them or something? Haha, so I've experienced that after augmentation and even piercings, but that doesn't happen anywhere near as much as they show off their toes. Really, things could be far worse than this; I don't mind having something sexually arousing everywhere I go, but it's kinda distracting.
I got to learn all of this at an early age. I was a "cute shy guy," and I was also checking out women's feet--a lot. I think that if I did it less, my life would be a little different, but when I embarked on that ever frustrating quest to develop my identity as an adolescent, I believed that I would have to be a pretty consistent, so I emulated a style--looking downwards. I fooled myself and manipulated my behavior to obtain a specific goal, possibly resulting in protracted shyness.
While I describe my actions as though they were intentional, I don't think I had a clue about what I was doing. I was a teenager. In retrospect, I've put together a structured explanation about a plan to gaze at women’s feet, but if you guys remember that age, or if you are in it, it's not that clear at all. Far from it. I didn't start listening to seattle music because of that; things just fell into place that way. What ended up happening though is that I became shyer than I actually was, and patterns of behavior developed in concert.
Anyways, I think I'm done for now. I wanted to mention so many other things, but perhaps another time. No monumental discovery or anything, but I'm sure that many of you have had similar experiences. Does this ring true to any of you guys? Ladies, what do you think?
Posts: 2 | Registered: Nov 2009
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First of all, I want to welcome you to the forum, nyftlvr.
Your post is a very interesting one and it's apparent that you put quite a bit of thought into it. I think it's a really good thing to look back at where you came from and at certain things you may have done in the past, or been exposed to in the past, that have shaped who you are today as a person. In order to understand where you're going, you have to get a pretty clear look at where you've been and how you ended up where you are before continuing on. It's part of the process of evolving as a person.
My experience was similar to yours in some ways. I was more of an introvert by nature though and, looking back, I think some of it had to do with having a foot fetish from an early age and not wanting people, especially girls, to "find out" about it. The strange thing though is that I had a really good female friend in my neighborhood who was about a year or so younger than me whom I was pretty close to. Along with that close friendship came some pretty wild and crazy things along the way. I'm sure that I was the first guy she ever flashed both her boobs and pussy to. She was the first girl I ever showed my cock to as well. She definitely knew of my sexual preference for feet, although we hardly ever discussed it openly. I let her know of my attraction to her feet by actions and never really verbalized it to her. It started off innocent enough when I was 11 years old and she was 10. On some level, I knew that my liking of girl's feet was out of the ordinary so I went through a period of time before I was 10 when I tried to act like I wasn't attracted to female feet. Once I turned 10, I knew I couldn't deny how I felt. As a result, this girl was my "outlet" to some degree and I began to massage and tickle her feet every time we'd get together and hang out. Then, when I was 16, hers were the first toes I ever sucked on and, a year and a half after that, she was the first girl to give me a footjob.
I consider myself lucky to have had that outlet through my friend. Beyond that, I was around adults quite a bit most of my younger life and would occasionally get "lucky" with a woman who would be wearing a pair of high heels that made her feet hurt. I would always offer to give those ladies a foot massage, which further honed my massage skills. I know all of the women would always appreciate my foot massages but those occasions didn't come around all too often.
Back on track though, I was definitely an introvert and it was partly because of the fear of people possibly finding out that I liked women's feet and being labeled a "freak". There was a time, even in my teenage years, that I had no idea there was even such a thing as a foot fetish. When I eventually found that out at the age of 15, I felt relief on one hand that there were other guys out there who liked female feet and that I wasn't alone. However, on the other hand, I definitely knew this was something that I couldn't come out and openly talk about in normal conversation, having heard the negative reaction of others when the subject of a foot fetish came up. I think anyone who remembers their teenage years can recall how uncomfortable they felt when dealing with the sexual feelings they had. Throwing a sexual attraction to women's feet on top of that made me feel completely freakish so that definitely contributed to me being introverted back then.
To most kids I went to high school with, I was pretty straight laced, quiet, but smart and with a good sense of humor. As a result, I was fortunate enough not to really be branded in any of the social groups. I still had the ability to carry on conversations with those who were looked at as the "brainiacs", as well as some of the dopey jocks (Well, some of the smarter of the dopey jocks. ), as well as the average kids and some of what could be labeled as the "misfits". There was that social mask thing going on which everyone does - i.e. a "public face" everyone puts on when dealing with people they don't know all that well or just associate with in passing. I'd only let people get so close and that was as far as they got. That behavior continued, for the most part, through high school and into my college years. It wasn't until I went out with my first serious girlfriend when I was 20 that I began a very slow change in my personality. I ended up expressing my attraction to women's feet with her by massaging her feet, sucking on her toes, licking her feet, etc., and she enjoyed it. Although it was a positive experience, I sort of dismissed it as a one off fluke. I continued my clandestine activities of giving foot massages when I could to girls when they wanted or needed it, which all of them appreciated. However, I still wasn't comfortable enough to go the next step with any of those girls and start sucking on their toes. Looking back, I know I had some missed opportunities with a few of those girls who may have been attracted to me to some degree and I know they would've enjoyed me expressing my attraction to their feet.
It wasn't until a few years later after my first girlfriend and I broke up that I met another girl and we eventually began seeing each other. Although I initially dismissed the first girlfriend accepting my attraction to female feet as a fluke, I decided to experiment with this new girlfriend at the time. Again, I received a positive response and footplay became a regular part of our one on one time. That relationship with her began my road towards coming to grips with a couple of facts: 1)It's okay for me to be attracted to female feet, and, most importantly, 2)There's nothing wrong with me being attracted to female feet and it doesn't make me a bad person for being attracted to them.
Having such a positive experience with that second girlfriend really began opening up my eyes. We eventually broke up but now I had a foundation to build on. Slowly, little by little, I would "break out of my shell", so to speak, and try and get a little bit more out of being introverted. It was tough sometimes but, looking back, the times I was more successful doing that I had a "what the hell" kind of attitude towards the outcome. I began being less shy with girls, even going so far as initiating foot massages with some of them, which would lead to me sucking on their toes, etc.. It wasn't until a few years later after doing this and then going back to look at it that I realized another key. When I didn't attach much to the outcome in situations and I wasn't expecting to "get" something, that was when I was successful in hitting it off with girls and, in some cases, those girls being fine with me massaging and, eventually, playing with their feet, sucking on their toes and even getting footjobs. I discovered that when I dropped the attachment to the outcome, there's no pressure. When there's no pressure, I'm automatically more comfortable with myself and the environment and women pick up on that. I've found that women especially are intensely aware of guys who just roll with it and aren't focused on a selfish outcome, as well as guys who are desperate and "looking for something".
The next realization was that I realized that by putting no pressure on myself meant that I was comfortable with me and who I am as a person and, as a result, people were more comfortable being around me. It was at that point that instead of showing the proverbial social mask, I could actually let some of who I really am shine through and be authentic as an individual. I think all people have a built-in "bullshit monitor" and they'll give back to you only what they perceive that you're giving off to them. As a result, they'll only be as authentic or honest with you as you are with them. I've found that being authentic to other people results in them being just as authentic back to me. In addition, people do see/perceive the difference and that authenticity is like a breath of fresh air to them.
Although it's a pretty long rant here, that's my background of who I was, how I came to be less introverted and more comfortable with who I am and with having an attraction to female feet. I've found that self-exploration (i.e. looking inward) is a really good way to get to the core of who you are and to make changes along the way to become a better person overall.
-------------------- "I like feet... A lot!" Posts: 2167 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Most people have usually labeled me quiet, but not shy. In my case my foot fetish had nothing to do with it- it was my basic personality. I did however keep it a secret for fear of being labeled a "freak" or "weird".
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), as well as the average kids and some of what could be labeled as the "misfits". There was that social mask thing going on which everyone does - i.e. a "public face" everyone puts on when dealing with people they don't know all that well or just associate with in passing. I'd only let people get so close and that was as far as they got. That behavior continued, for the most part, through high school and into my college years. It wasn't until I went out with my first serious girlfriend when I was 20 that I began a very slow change in my personality. I ended up expressing my attraction to women's feet with her by massaging her feet, sucking on her toes, licking her feet, etc., and she enjoyed it. Although it was a positive experience, I sort of dismissed it as a one off fluke. I continued my clandestine activities of giving foot massages when I could to girls when they wanted or needed it, which all of them appreciated. However, I still wasn't comfortable enough to go the next step with any of those girls and start sucking on their toes. Looking back, I know I had some missed opportunities with a few of those girls who may have been attracted to me to some degree and I know they would've enjoyed me expressing my attraction to their feet. 
