posted
When I think about puberty and being interested in women it was never easy for me. Let alone telling a girl about my foot fetish. I definitely put women on a pedastal. Oddly enough when it comes to foot fetish thats where most of us put women....on a pedastal. It wasn't until after my first love and my first heart break where I stopped that supplicating behavior and attarcting women wasn't as much of a problem for me. It's funny in that as I "met" more women my foot fetish bacame a smaller part of my growing sexuality. I wonder if anxiety around women you're attracted to, foot fetish and putting women on a pedastal(metaphorically speaking) are all related. Is the foot fetishist inherently shy and introverted with the internet being the exception? I just watched a trailer for a movie called "dave's date" about a guy with a foot fetish trying to find a girlfriend. http://www.accentworks.net/daves_date_short.html He's a bit eccentric in my mind. But after reading some words from the author I thought perhaps i'm a the rarity and he's the norm. http://www.accentworks.net/daves_date_words.html
What do you guys think? GQguy
-------------------- If she won't indulge your fetish, I bet you that cuter, smarter girl across the bar will. Lets go find out. Posts: 1877 | Registered: Aug 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
I checked out the links and found it pretty interesting. Here's my take on it.
Although there is a foot fetish aspect to the film, it does touch on a universal theme that encompasses everyone, and that is, deep down, we're all looking to be accepted for who we are, with all our faults. Unfortunately, what gets in the way of that is our roots and where we came from, and I mean that in the anthropological sense.
The human species, with all of its advancements in technology to make life easier today, is outdated. The reason for this is because of genes that have been carried down from generation to generation for thousands of years that still affect the way we live today. This is even more glaringly apparent when it comes to men and women, relationships, etc.. Today, every guy on the face of the planet who's interested in a woman who he doesn't know will get anxious and nervous everytime he even thinks about walking up to a woman and talking to her or just to say hello. While it may be a bit easier for some, there's still some form of anxiety there for most guys. The reason for this is because of the genes that have been passed down through the thousands of years man has walked the planet as a species.
With the billions of people on earth today, it's difficult to imagine a time when humans were far more scarce and that our ancesters, basically, roamed the earth in nomadic tribes, moving from one place to another. As such, mating possibilities were that much more scarce because you only associated with a certain group of people, probably numbering less than one hundred, and you associated with these same people all of your life. Showing interest in a female and then getting rejected by her or, worse yet, being pummeled by another guy who is with the woman, would've caused embarrassment and ridicule among the other wandering members of the nomadic tribe, and possibly, even led to banishment from the tribe. Since the group was so small, everyone would've known about the embarrassment/ridicule. Odds are that, if that happened, the guy in question probably didn't end up with a woman in his lifetime and his genes were erased from existence.
This definitely helps to explain why most guys, if not all, tend to have some anxiety when attempting to approach a woman and start a conversation. This behavior, which seems irrational on the surface, stems from our ancesters who walked the earth thousands of years ago. The evolution that took place along the way has still not made us forget this innate fear of rejection.
Put in today's society, there's no rational reason on the surface to think that way, since advances in technology have develpoed in ways that we can communicate, via the internet and computers, with people all over the planet. However, the ironic part is that, even doing this, we're still alone. It's not like we're all meeting each other face to face. The bottom line is that the nature of the way things were up to this point in the history of humanity has directed us, through our genes, to have that innate fear and anxiety because of what could be at stake, regardless of the fact that there are now billions of women on the planet and the technology is such that we can reach out, via the internet, and exchange ideas and "talk" to other people. It's amazing to think that we really haven't changed much as a species, considering how far we have come in advancing the way we do things.
But enough of the heavy stuff. With all that was said above, approaching a woman causes anxiety in a lot of guys and I'm sure that liking a woman's feet doesn't help matters. The fear of rejection by women is, I'm sure, a factor of why guys with a foot fetish may be more introverted and there's always the fear in a lot of guys of "What if she finds out I like feet? Will she freak out? What if she laughs at me?", etc., etc.. I think we've all been there at some point in our lives.
From my personal experience, I've found it easier to ask a woman for a foot massage, far more easier than approaching a woman for conversation in the hopes of dating her. I think that I just didn't look at the whole foot massage thing as a big deal and if they said no to the foot massage, it wasn't the end of the world. It was always light-hearted and playful in the way I would present it. I didn't put much at stake in the offer to massage her feet. I think that's the reason why I've given quite a few foot massages along the way but haven't had too many serious relationships with women. When I had an interest in a woman, it would start off ok because I, for lack of a better term, would be cautious, act critical of the woman in question and didn't put her up on a pedestal so to speak. It wasn't until after we were going together for awhile that I let the needy, clingy, wussy out. As a result, the woman I would be having a relationship with would behave differently towards me, became less interested in me, etc., until we eventually broke up (and it would always be her who would break up with me because I would be trying harder in the relationship to "right its course" than she would be). Looking back and hindsight being 20/20, I know that my needy behavior was a big reason why those relationships ended. Thankfully, I've learned from those experiences and don't put women up on pedestals anymore, no matter how well I know them or feel about them. Because of this, although I'm not in a serious relationship right at the moment, it hasn't prevented me from having fun with women and my attraction to their feet.
Guys need to remember that women aren't meant to be put up on pedestals. They're human, just like the rest of us and, as such, they're looking to be accepted for who they are as well, and not who we think they are or hope they'll be.
-------------------- "I like feet... A lot!" Posts: 2167 | Registered: Sep 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
I must admit that my foot fetish was an embarrassment to me. And it caused me not to date women, for a while. I was always affraid of how they'd react when I told them about my attraction to their feet; would it turn them off? Now, I have a woman who understands me completely. And I laugh at the way I used to feel!
-------------------- "You have very nice feet!" Posts: 3712 | Registered: Apr 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
i admit it embarrases me because i didn't know how to handle myself with it as i was younger and it still bites me in the ass. i see people i went to school with and i worry that they still remember it.
doesn't help i can't talk to females anyway without worrying and such.
Posts: 2128 | Registered: Jun 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
Women can be pretty intimidating. True. I went skydiving a little while ago and readily jumped out of that plane...but when it comes to approaching that 5'10" gorgeous brunette who's been giving me eyes all night...better yet the one who hasn't I get nervous! lol. What do I fear? Not exactly sure. Not rejection. But I do know I sometimes put to much thought into it.
My initial question however was, is this shyness inherent to those with foot fetishes? And is the shyness a result of fear of acceptance or is the shyness just a trait of one with a foot fetish?
I would say now that i'm pretty upfront about my love of feet. My fetish isn't super strong so it's easy for me to bring up casually after meeting someone. I'm not ashamed of it. My buddies know lol because they've seen me out massaging the feet of women I meet. lol When i'm drunk i'll even tell my buddies that the girl I was chatting with had cute feet or not. Them poking fun at me wouldn't be fun because my mind frame is too strong. When it comes to the anxiety when approaching women i'd say it comes in waves for me. It's alldependant on how much I value myself versus how much I value the beautiful stranger. A ratio that needs to be in your/my favor. When i'm feeling down and alone that ratio is in her favor. When i'm happy and just kicked ass all week that ratio is in my favor. The key is having value for yourself even during those not so confident days. What helps me is being nice and cool with EVERYONE. Guys girls, old and young. Smile at stangers and say hello. Listen to happy music. And think positively about yourself. No "I suck at this.." self talk. Only "I'm awesome at this.." self talk.
Wow...i've gone on a billion tangents. Well I hope that helps someone. Hell. I know it. I need to implement it more myself ;o)
-------------------- If she won't indulge your fetish, I bet you that cuter, smarter girl across the bar will. Lets go find out. Posts: 1877 | Registered: Aug 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
When I was in my teens,I was very careful about girls who I let know about my fetish.I`M glad I was.I did not want to be one of the guys known as a sick freak in my school.
Posts: 177 | Registered: Jan 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by GQguy: Is the foot fetishist inherently shy and introverted with the internet being the exception?
I certainly am in no place to make a generalization about this, but I certainly was, although it wasn't really because of my foot fetish. I guess I considered that a very private part of me to be shared only with those I truly did hook-up with.
The few girls I dated or hung-out with until my second year of college persued me, including the girl I dated from 7th grade through my first year of college. Was it a fear of telling them about my fetish that kept me from approaching other girls? Not at all, it never entered into my thought process at that point. Though I of course noticed my girlsfriend's cute feet, I never did anything with them even though we were sexually active-largely because I was afraid that she'd think it perverted or odd. I think that's the answer- it all depends on how you view your foot fetish.
quote:Guys need to remember that women aren't meant to be put up on pedestals. They're human, just like the rest of us and, as such, they're looking to be accepted for who they are as well, and not who we think they are or hope they'll be.
That's so true! Unfortunately I was one of those guys, never thinking I could get the really cute girl. But how many times have you seen an absolute babe with an unattractive guy? Quite a few over time, and I think it's because this guy appreciates her for what she really is inside and not just atracted to her looks.
quote:Originally posted by GQguy: My initial question however was, is this shyness inherent to those with foot fetishes?
probably so, cuz we, generally speaking, have more to hide. but that shyness is not exclusive to foot fetishists if that is what you are asking. it is a universal feeling.
fate111 gave an excellent explanation of the anthropological reasons as to why people have fears WRT to coquetry. in short, opportunities were smaller in earlier human history and therefore mistakes had bigger longer lasting consequences. naturally, there is fear in that type of scenario where you have to get it right (or suffer greatly). if you don't understand what I'm saying, think of walking on a suspended cable in a circus without a net below.
like fate111 said, that was way back then and humans no longer have those smaller number of opportunities which would cause fear. problem is our biological circuitry has not caught up with our social realities. and there-in lies the unjustified fear
quote:Originally posted by tintin19153: When I was in my teens,I was very careful about girls who I let know about my fetish.I`M glad I was.I did not want to be one of the guys known as a sick freak in my school.
thanks for reminding me what cold have been Posts: 2128 | Registered: Jun 2006
| IP: Logged |
i have issues with shyness and am nowhere near as cool as I come off on these forums
-------------------- quote: ---------------------------------- posted by Andy - Laa: my posts in this thread are not as good as Michael P's Posts: 3024 | Registered: Apr 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Hmmm. So far the guy who has a foot fetish and has always been good with women hasn't spoken up. Is it possible that he's to busy out there getting laid and what not to post? Perhaps. Honestly I think the shyness is what helped to create the foot fetish. The shyness may go away as we get older(i worked hard on it) but the affinity for female feet still remains. Although for me it isn't as strong as it was during my shyer younger days.
-------------------- If she won't indulge your fetish, I bet you that cuter, smarter girl across the bar will. Lets go find out. Posts: 1877 | Registered: Aug 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Mighty Mike: interesting topic
i have issues with shyness and am nowhere near as cool as I come off on these forums
Who ever thought old Mike was cool??? The very first time I went for it with a woman's feet I was so foot and sex starved (late teens) that I didn't care and just went for it at the heat of the moment. I mean she had no problems putting my dick in her mouth, so I thought she certainly wouldn't mind her toes in mine. Turned out to be a win win!
posted
any guy here that approaches random women and asks them to take pics of their feet is not shy, not even close
goodguyneighbor and ben del amitri come to mind
-------------------- quote: ---------------------------------- posted by Andy - Laa: my posts in this thread are not as good as Michael P's Posts: 3024 | Registered: Apr 2004
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Mighty Mike: any guy here that approaches random women and asks them to take pics of their feet is not shy, not even close
goodguyneighbor and ben del amitri come to mind
Good call! I didn't even think about that scenario. My follow up question would then be....were you always that brave?
-------------------- If she won't indulge your fetish, I bet you that cuter, smarter girl across the bar will. Lets go find out. Posts: 1877 | Registered: Aug 2006
| IP: Logged |
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Cry]](cry.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Laugh]](graemlins/laugh.gif)
