posted
So back in September, after making an appointment on the phone, I told the girl on the phone I loved her voice, and I asked if she did sessions. She said no, and then I offered her a nice sum for 10 minutes, and she said she'd think about it. So when I got there, after my session with whomever girl I had, she agreed.
Shes not actually a secretary there--she was just helping out and is actually a photographer, but to make a long story short, I've been going there the same day and time every week to see her after her shoot and my session is finished.
So this girls amazing, and I buy her little gifts, (outfits, footwear etc...) every week, cause she agreed to do a prvate PRIVATE session with me. We havent gotten around to it yet, cause she can't do it there, but she did say we could do it at her place sometime.
Now she said she has a boyfriend...After giving her a great gift last week, she said 'You're a smart guy' and then she asked for my number to set up a session. And sure enough she called me the next day. I didnt pick up, but she left a message and told me where she lived.
I told her I couldnt make it for the night she requested. Why? Cause I'm a little scared.
Am I a wuss? I guess theres always a possibility with this girl, but she has a boyfriend, and I guess thats the main reson I'm scared. (RIDICULOUS, RIGHT? SHE SHOULD BE THE ONE WHO'S SCARED--SHE LIVES ALONE!!)
But I can't get the way she said 'You're a smart guy' out of my head. It sounded so promising, and then she calls me the next day. I even felt guilty after I told her no. Don't know why--she probably agreed just for the money, but what if its more than that?
Posts: 1001 | Registered: Jan 2005
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however.. if it's a money deal... keep it that way.. don't get all nervous. to her.. it's most likely just a money deal. you made a proposition.. she thought about it.. felt it was cool. she got to know you enough to go for it.
my biggest advice.. keep it strictly a money deal. go there.. do exactly what you said you'd do in your session. keep it professional, but civil and jovial like you've done in the past.
then... don't just skip town.. but don't hang around and hover either. unless another money deal is set up.. don't linger on the topic. just play cool.
don't fall for the emotional temptation to "cut another blokes grass"!!! and do more than your contractual money deal
RPM
p.s. the more you hesitate like this.. the more you look like you've had ulterior perverted thoughs (just my humble opinion).. and then you'll be closing the door to this opportunity. but.. remember.. it's strictly business.
Maybe she doesn't have a boyfriend... or she just has a casual boyfriend. Maybe you're a 'smart guy' because you know she isn't really in a relationship and you're still going for what you want. Beautiful Size 9's and a sexy voice. hehe Women definitely play the unavailable card for many reasons, but yet she still calls you - perhaps it is for the money, but maybe she she wants to see what a session would be like... what 'you' are like before letting you know the truth. I can't blame her for being cautious.
I'd like to say - just keep it as a money deal, but that is very hard to do... especially if you have a great time with her. But clearly if I were you, I would be scared of a boyfriend barging in and I'd be uncomfortable with a girl who would put the two of you in that situation. So I think I'd tell her that though you would love to have a foot session with her, but that you have given it some more thought and you don't want to do anything that might risk her relationship with her boyfriend. You wouldn't want him to find out, and get angry with her. You aren't looking to break them up or cause her any problems. At this point, she will see you for being a good guy... a thoughtful guy... and maybe.. just maybe she'll come clean, and tell you that the boyfriend was made up. If she says that she does have a boyfriend - then you have been honest... you aren't a wuss, and the two of you can part on good terms.
Just my two cents. It's worth a try. Good luck.
Love Genie xoxo
Posts: 353 | Registered: May 2004
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quote:Originally posted by FTPHANTOM: Then again you never know,maybe she has 1 of those boy friend's that like's to watch.
Yeah, likes to watch from the bedroom closet while holding a crowbar in hand ready to pounce and wail upon a fragile eggshell skull! That's what would make me nervous. A setup!
posted
I think it really all depends on what you're looking for DancingFool. If you want to keep this as purely a "business exchange", then there's nothing wrong with seeing her on the side and having some fun with her. However, after having that fun, everything needs to remain the same and not advance into anything more.
If you're looking for something more besides just some foot fun, then that's an entirely other issue. Like Genie said, sometimes girls will just say things to test guys to see if they will step up and be real men so the whole boyfriend thing might be something she is just saying. She didn't say if it was a serious boyfriend and I highly doubt she'll actually come out and give all the details because she doesn't know you that well and, don't take this the wrong way, but it's not really your business, since it's kind of personal.
If you are looking for something more besides the foot fun, then it might be difficult to get to that level at this point. You've already tipped your hand, in my opinion, by giving her all those gifts. Obviously, she knows that you have some kind of feelings for her by the gift giving. She may have even grown accustomed to this kind of treatment from you and will continue to expect this from you everytime you see her. If that's the case, then it's up to you to decide whether or not you want her to see you as a guy who has potential to be her new boyfriend or a walking gift machine/ATM.
Actually, you not picking up the phone when she did call you played into your favor. By not answering when she called, it shows her that you have a life and aren't sitting at home waiting for the phone to ring. It doesn't matter whether you were at home or not. Unless you tell her you were home when she called, she won't know otherwise. Women don't like guys who are needy and feel that a guy's life revolves around her. It is a good sign that she called you. However, it's difficult to say whether or not she called you because she's interested in doing the session because it's something different and out of the ordinary for her that she has never had before, or if she's really interested in you as a person and getting to know you, or if she's just looking at this as a way of making some quick and easy money.
I would say that if you're just doing this to have some foot fun with her when her boyfriend isn't around, then it's ok to go for it if she is into it as well. I would take precautionary mesasures with her though to make sure the bf isn't around and/or won't find out what the two of you are up to.
As RPM suggested, just play it cool and keep things light and, as he stated, don't "hover" around after things are done. The more you come off as needy and/or clingy, the less inclined she'll be to want to hang out/get together with you again, either for another foot session or other things. The more you can show that you're not needy, the more she may actually find you attractive and that can open up quite a few possibilities. As Genie said, maybe the whole "I have a boyfriend" line is just a front that she's using to keep you at bay for now. Of course, that statement could also be true but maybe things aren't going well between her and the bf and she's intrigued to try something a little bit different with you that's low risk just to see if she'll like it.
At any rate, good luck with the situation and let us know how it all turns out.
Posts: 2167 | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
Thanks for all of your imput everybody--I'm really gonna consider what you all said--
As for what I want out of all this--I just don't know. I'm at a stage in my life now where I want to date multiple people without seeming like a whore or a player. I can't seem to find a girl who's out there enough to want to explore all opportunities (I wish I was around in the 60s!!)
I guess the ideal situation would be that she would invite me over to do foot sessions free of charge just becasue she enjoys it so much. An ideal IDEAL situation would be "Sex without dating" as George described Kramer's romantic life on Seinfeld!!
No, I shouldnt say that--I like dating--and believe me I wouldnt mind parading around with THIS girl in the streets of NYC!
I've been careful with this girl for a while now--we've been talking about doing a private session for 2 months now and it has always been me who said 'This week isnt good baby'. I have always said I would call her and never did, but last week she asked for my number, and called me the next day. Whats the worst that could happen? If I go there, leave all of my credit cards home and don't let her tie me up, (I know, another Seinfeld moment comes to mind) could anything go wrong if I just do that?
I'm gonna call her Friday and wing it from there--I won't be needy, like several of you said, thanks---I won't be forceful whoever said that, thanks--. I'll be as cool as I have been thus far, and see whats what.
Thnaks again guys.
Posts: 1001 | Registered: Jan 2005
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posted
...so I text messaged her Friday morning saying
'Good Morning Little Schoolgirl'
and she responded with
'I have been bad today, cutting classes'.
Then I wrote
'We'll have to keep you after class. Have you been hanging out at that FWP again?'
then she said
'If you want to see me at my place for detention let me know'
Then I told her
'Next week for sure, what days do you have detention?'
and then she hasnt responded back yet. Maybe that means 'You tell me'. meaning shes available anytime?
Posts: 1001 | Registered: Jan 2005
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posted
Send her a, "How about *date/evening(time)* ?" "Is this okay?", text message and see what response you get. It seems like she is up for a good time, but again, to echo what others have said, play it cool/safe (take cash only and no credit cards) and keep your wits about you. She is gauging you as well as you gauging her.
-------------------- V/R, FM9 aka Mr. Footbooty "She had real pretty feet. I was always a sucker for pretty little feet... Outside of her being pretty and hip, with a good body, her feet is what attracted me." - p. 39 of "Miles" (Davis) The Autobiography Posts: 8821 | Registered: Sep 2003
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quote:Originally posted by FTPHANTOM: Why can't she come over to your place? Or may be get a cheap hotel room.
Well I basically spend all of my time in Manhattan even though I live in Brooklyn. I basically only use Brooklyn to sleep and go to Wu's. In fact I only see daylight in Brooklyn on weekends and off days (like today). A cheap hotel room? Hmmm...well she already offered her place, and that both excites me and scares me.
I just don;t know. I'm gonna call her right now cause I won't be able to see her this week either, as I have to go upstate for a few days.
Posts: 1001 | Registered: Jan 2005
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posted
so I'm calling her Saturday guys--saw her last night, gave her another sexy gift she loved, and her BF is an older dude who lives out of the city--I think it should be OK.
she expressed some peeveness that I never called her--she said 'You keep saying you love me, you love me, and then you don't call.' But I explained that I had some things to do. Half true.
Posts: 1001 | Registered: Jan 2005
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posted
I think she might be intrigued, at the very least, because you've been saying one thing and doing another thing. Her mentioning, "You say you love me, but you don't call." was another subtle test on her part to see if you would "cave in" and drop everything in your life just to see her. Although what you told her may only be half true, further letting her know that you do have a life and don't let your life revolve around her sends a powerful message. It lets her know she's not Number 1 on your list. That works in your favor because it makes you more of a challenge to her. Also, you've played a card out of the "female" deck as well. I think a lot of guys have been in a situation where they talk to a girl and she says she will call him, or even been on the phone with a girl and she says, "Can I call you back?", you let her go and she never calls. You've taken a female "trick" and have used it on her. I'm sure taking something that she may have done before to guys and using it on her has gotten her a little off balance, especially if she is an attractive woman (which, I'm sure she is) and is used to guys trying to use lines on her, giving her tons of compliments, etc.. I'm sure with her living in NYC, she probably gets guys hitting on her, trying to use lines, etc., dozens of times a day. You're resisting her to a certain degree and not being like all of those other guys she may be encountering on a daily basis.
As far as what you want out of the situation and you feeling that you just want to date multiple people without seeming like a whore or player, I think the best way to handle that situation would be just to come out and tell her. It's better than this woman (or any woman) thinking that they are going out with/seeing you exclusively and then they're left hanging out to dry so to speak if they eventually find out you're "cheating" on them by going out with other people. That's when the "manwhore" and "player" reputation comes into play. If you're up front at the beginning, you don't have to worry about covering your ass later because she knows from the get-go where you're at in terms of seeing her, as well as other people. Again, this is also a good attraction mechanism because if she is at all interested in you, then she may end up trying harder to be with you because your time is valuable, plus she knows you're seeing other people as well. As a result, it ends up being an unofficial "competition" to see who can win you over and get you into an exclusive relationship. Just be sure that you're able to handle her seeing other people too and don't get jealous if she tells you she is seeing other guys.
Again, just keep things light between you and her. You're already on the right track in quite a few ways. Also, in order not to give off the vibe of "We're in a relationship", I'd recommend seeing her no more than once a week and talking to her no more than once a week on the phone. Also, I would start cutting back on the gift giving too. She shouldn't expect something from you everytime she sees you. Plus, this will also get her thinking about why you've stopped giving her gifts. If she mentions it and asks why you've stopped with the gift giving, let her know in a funny way by saying something like, "Hey, I'm not a gift catalog. Is that all you see me for? I'm a guy and I have feelings too." It's funny because you're taking something a woman would say with the whole "I have feelings too" and using it on her. It also lets her know in a subtle way that you're not that big of a pushover. Keep us posted!
Posts: 2167 | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
So its all booked guys--I'm seeing her tonight--thanks Fate for all of yer input--you really opened my eyes on a few things--what you said about the giftgiving makes sense, and I'll probably not bring her one tonight based on yer advice, but let me tell you this--shes kind of a hard edged girl, not goth but definitely has seen it all and takes it like a woman--but you had to hear the playful little squeal she gave upon receiving all of my gifts--it was so damn hot--
OK guys--wish me luck--I'll be back with the details tomorrow.
Posts: 1001 | Registered: Jan 2005
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