posted
Footgirl Michelle is one of the sweetest girls you will ever meet. I first met her in Beaverton about three or four years ago and she's been one of the best people I've known since. About a year ago she fell upon some hard times and things have been very tough for her.
One morning a few months back, I ran into her down in Portland. She didn't look very happy; although still beautiful, you could tell that stress and hard times had taken their toll on her. She tried to avoid me when she first saw me but realized it was too late to ditch out and meekly said "Hello".
She made a few unnecessary excuses for the way she was dressed but she hugged me tightly and it felt very good .. albeit, bittersweet.
I invited her to share a meal with me and we went down to Hawthorne to the Mt Tabor one of her favorite restaurants. Michelle ate like a horse. During breakfast, she was honest in revealing the course her life had taken .. even though it embarrassed her - and it hurt me to hear those things.
After our meal I walked her back to her car .. which also looked terrible. To tell the truth, it was a rust-bucket clap-trap with plastic over one of the windows. Before leaving I asked for a hug and she held me for at least three minutes .. buried her face in my neck and just stood there silently for three full minutes, which seemed like forever.
I opened the car door and tried to give her some pocket money but she wouldn't take it. So I told her I needed to move some things from Malory's apartment to Lake Oswego and asked if she could help. If so, I could pay her handsomely. She said "Yeah sure, I'll meet you over at Yola's around 2:00 this afternoon".
So .. at Yola's over on SE Foster, I'm there at 1:30 and Michelle isn't around. At 2:00 I called and guess what? Phone number is no longer in service. I should have known. It turned into a sad day. It was nice to see Michelle and having a meal with her was very nice .. but things felt badly after she drove off and even worse when she didn't show up. So much so, that I almost wish I hadn't seen her to begin with. She's out there somewhere and I'm left wondering if I'll ever see her again.
Sometimes I just don't understand how all this works. How any of it works.
================================ Fast Forward, three months ...
I just happened to see Michelle again on Saturday morning in Portland. She looked terrible; frail, haggard and her hair had lost it's luster. A few bruises on her arms & shoulders and she was dressed terribly. She was hanging out in front of Eatza Pizza in Eastport plaza. I took her over to Diane's on 50th & SE Foster for a cheap but filling breakfast. Unlike last time, she didn't have much of an appetite and ate very little. She stared off into space and couldn't stay focused on anything.
After breakfast, I asked where her car was parked and she revealed to me that she no longer had one; she was "waiting for a ride" but kept that part of things vague, so I didn't pry. Again, I tried to give her some pocket money but she wouldn't take it. So I walked her over to a little grassy area nearby, did a five-minute "photo shoot", had her sign a model release & paid her for that. She took the money this time, but held back tears when I gave it to her and said "You don't have to do this, you know. You're never going to use these pictures for anything".
I kissed her on the cheek and walked away. Didn't even go back to my car, just walked straight down Foster to a crappy little place called Mocha Master where I spent the next hour. I guess what bothers me most about this is that Michelle (like all of our footgirls) is one of the most beautiful girls in the world. To MY eye, all of these girls are .. it's the way I see them .. all of them and I can't understand why the world is not completely great for all of them.
Some of these girls do things they can't exactly write home about and some of them do things they are not proud of .. in the case of Michelle - I'm not sure I want to know about some of the things she's gone through and I pretend NOT to know much of what I DO know; because she's still an Angel in my eye and it hurts to think of her out there fighting for her survival, her very existence.
Just like the last time, I wonder if I'll ever see her again .. and half of me hopes I do not because I don't think I can bear to see what may become of her. That may take care of itself, insofar as she no longer has internet access or a cell phone. I just pray she's got some place to sleep, at a minimum.
[ December 07, 2008, 12:49 PM: Message edited by: Ben Del Amitri ]
-------------------- Respectfully,
Ben
Malory in Signature Posts: 5772 | Registered: Oct 2004
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posted
Wow, Ben. It doesn't surprise me you're this utmost and forward about a situation... But these details to me sound like a drug addiction, an abusive relationship, or both or a mixture involving one or the other. For what ever reason the hard times are, and our economy not helping most... I hope like hell she pulls out of this. I'm glad to see you're anxious in helping a fellow human, and a person in our community the way you did, and if it took taking pics of her to make her accept the money that's atleast a step for her in a direction that may help. Her tenacity in the situation to not accept handouts is also another great strong/stubborn point in most humans when they know that what they've gotten themselves into is their own situation and nobody else's. It's such a shame the fate that's become of michelle and i do hope like hell that with any other rough spot we've all hit and from the deepest and bottom of my own heart wish her the best.
Should you find her, continue the encouragement and see if you can't find out what's happening. As you said you know already but won't speak if you feel it safe, go ahead and PM me, i'm nobody to talk about people's personal lives as i can tell you are the same, but it peaks my interest, and i've spent many a nights wandering where it is i may be come morning and whether or not i'll be able to get to work the next day due to certain things involving life.
--Boot
-------------------- I've got a fetish for sexy female feet. Everybody knows. I love it. Posts: 675 | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
This one strikes close to home. Some successes, some failure, some outcomes I may never know.
Uncomfortably cognizant of it, I can't save the whole world. From time to time, I might be able to refurbish a couple of pieces. Perhaps, I can expand later. This one got me - know too many similar stories.
Posts: 5067 | Registered: Apr 2005
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I'd say just let it go. I know it will be hard for the first few hours/days, but hopefully your anxieties towards a dear friend will subside.... I'd also respectfully suggest to at least add her to your prayers
-------------------- "When this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you're gonna see some serious shit" - Dr Emmit L. Brown (Back To The Future) Posts: 7894 | Registered: Jan 2007
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quote:Originally posted by FootLongSub Zero: I'd say just let it go. I know it will be hard for the first few hours/days, but hopefully your anxieties towards a dear friend will subside.... I'd also respectfully suggest to at least add her to your prayers
Until you see them again.
Personally speaking, I'm one to take someone like that in, at least, until they can get the help they need and back on their feet. Especially if it's someone that I know, and I know that they trust me.
Posts: 220 | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Tough times indeed, but strangely enough life works the way it does for a reason. If she survives her tribulations she'll be stronger for it otherwise...
-------------------- Matt C. Nolan Posts: 1357 | Registered: Mar 2007
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