(Jane Doe): "Some guy came up to me and said he like my feet!
"Yes???"
(Jane Doe): "I TOLD YOU HE SAID HE LIKED MY FEET. I want him picked up for sexual harrasment"
"Did this man assault you?"
(Jane Doe): No but he said he liked my feet and invited me to have coffee with him! He said if things worked out he'd like to talk to me about taking pictures of my feet"
"I'm sorry mam that's not a crime by any law at all. Did this man try to abduct you, pull a weapon, make any threats of any kind or make any spedific advances? Did did you have coffee with him?
(Jane Doe): NO I didnt. I told him off good, gave him every word in the book, punched him once then threw my burrito at him as he tried to get away"
"Has this man stalked you over a period of time? If so, you might be able to begin a process of getting a restraining order on him but you WILL need proof & be able to show a repeated pattern of abuse, some documentation"
(Jane Doe): WHAT? I don't even know this guy. When are you going to come down here and look for this guy? You can't tell me he's not breaking the law with sexual harrassment and things. This is no different than a school teacher trying to get sexual favors from a studtn. It's the same in principal anyways"
"No, it's not the same, For one thing he's not a teacher, you are not 15 years or his student, he did not touch you or make any attempts to physically assaautl you and none of this happened in a school or any other place. Oh yes, another difference, he didn't breat any laws"
(Jane Doe): "But it's the same principal. And just because we're not at work doesn't mean he didn't harrass me!
"Mam you've just confessed to several misdemeanor crimes over the phone and we have this on tape. It's a good thing HE didnt' call to report you for assault, battery, live obscene conduct in public and possibly something stemming from the burrito thing. We'd be able to corroborate HIS claims based on this phone call"
posted
[/qb][/QUOTE]Sexual harassment may not be the exact term for it, but it is definitely illegal to approach a woman and compliment her on something sexual. Walk up to women and say nice tits and see how long your "it isn't harassment if we're not at work!" excuse holds up.
I don't mean to keep responding, but reading a lot of this has been somewhat frustrating for me since you seem similar to those guys that end up in the news, standing by the "it is just feet" mentality to far greater lengths than one should.
Though, you believe doing a 360 turns you opposite, so i'm not sure any of this will sink in. [/QB][/QUOTE]
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This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever read. I would like to know WHICH laws would cover this, if you can find one in some place other than Farenheit 451. You're right Ben, make a post like this and you open yourself up to a few detractors with their "I told you so" posts. You handled it perfectly, just like you did the posts.
Posts: 332 | Registered: Sep 2005
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That was hillarious. The part where you said, "what's the matter, you don't drink coffee" had me nearly falling out of my seat
Ben, you do this as much as you and you're bound to run across a nut case. A more appropriate response on her part would have been a simple "no thank you". Fortunately, as you've pointed out, most of the women are beautiful, smart, nice, and accepting. Keep up the good work.
Hello lambskin -
You mention a more appropriate response and the happy truth is, most women who are not immediately obliging do respond with a simple "no thank you". Even those who are not interested are often VERY kind in declining - and a few even contact me later to say "You know, I thought about this and I wouldn't mind meeting for coffee". Fortunately, people like this are (from my experience) a rarity.
-------------------- Respectfully,
Ben
Malory in Signature Posts: 5772 | Registered: Oct 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Malory: Hey Ben this is too funny! What a crack up & I can almost hear you saying "so you don't like coffee?. It's so kewl you let this stuff fly off like water off a ducks back, that's the best way to go for sure. From what I just saw in the pictures section you're still beating the odds by a couple hundred. LOL.
~Malory
Hello Beautiful -
Thinking back to last spring, thank Heavens YOU didn't react this way when I first walked up and spoke to you about your feet!
quote:Originally posted by pacfootluver: I gotta say this is a funny story. You never know how a girl is gionog to react so I guess thats why 99% of us just stay in the background and fantasize. Thanks for being one of those rare guys who dares to be different Ben because things like this are unpleasant but we know it's all worth it in the end. And by the way I KNOW you know this but there's still no laws against spoken words regardless of what a few others might say.
Hello pacfootluver -
You have to hope for a little kindness to go along with the rejections or at least a tiny drop of civility. As was the situation here, you don't always get that and the rebuke is served up harsh and raw - but at least the burrito was cooked.
-------------------- Respectfully,
Ben
Malory in Signature Posts: 5772 | Registered: Oct 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Ben Del Amitri: Alright, I was really cool about this when the first two knuckleheads came into this thread, with (inane and uninformed) sexual harrassment comments. Enough is enough and I'm going to set this straight right here and now.
For your edification, Mighty Mike - and that of the others who made similar, ridiculous comments, HERE is the actual meaning of "Sexual Harrassment", the reason such laws were conceived, WHO they apply to and the intent thereof. Your attention is invited to the fact that these laws apply ONLY IN THE WORKPLACE, and ... even at that, they do not apply in all workplaces, and that these statutes can not be made to apply in private companies:
Sexual harassment is a form of sex discrimination that violates Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Title VII applies to employers with 15 or more employees, including state and local governments. It also applies to employment agencies and to labor organizations, as well as to the federal government.
Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitute sexual harassment when this conduct explicitly or implicitly affects an individual's employment, unreasonably interferes with an individual's work performance, or creates an intimidating, hostile, or offensive work environment.
Sexual harassment can occur in a variety of circumstances, including but not limited to the following:
* The victim as well as the harasser may be a woman or a man. The victim does not have to be of the opposite sex. * The harasser can be the victim's supervisor, an agent of the employer, a supervisor in another area, a co-worker, or a non-employee. * The victim does not have to be the person harassed but could be anyone affected by the offensive conduct. * Unlawful sexual harassment may occur without economic injury to or discharge of the victim. * The harasser's conduct must be unwelcome.
Title VII of the Federal Civil Rights Act of 1964 provides that "it shall be an unlawful employment practice for an employer . . . to discriminate against any individual with respect to his compensation, terms, conditions, or privileges of employment, because of such individual's race, color, religion, sex, or national origin."
In a series of major decisions in 1998, the United States Supreme Court clarified and broadened the law. In a unanimous decision in March, 1998 the Court said: "When the workplace is permeated with discriminatory intimidation, ridicule, and insult that is sufficiently severe or pervasive to alter the conditions of the victim's employment and create an abusive working environment, Title VII is violated.
====================
SO - your statement "actually a girl can file a sexual harrassment lawsuit if you compliment her haircut" is patently false, completely wrong and absolutely without merit of any kind, whatsoever.
calm down ben
you didn't have to call me a knucklehead
it's ok though, sticks and stones and burritos may break my bones but names will never hurt me
As for sexual harrassment, I took a psychology of sexual behavior class last year and my teacher said that complimenting a girl on her haircut can be considered sexual harrassment. She might have mentioned it was only in the workplace but I can't remember.
I'll take your word for it.
-------------------- quote: ---------------------------------- posted by Andy - Laa: my posts in this thread are not as good as Michael P's Posts: 3024 | Registered: Apr 2004
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posted
I found the following post on a forum...cant remember where...
As I read this thread, I was reminded of it...
Ben, it is a joy to watch as you celebrate being a "man"...
I belive that woman want and expect that we men will step up to the plate an initiate conversation and make things happen...
I think it would be a very, very sad day indeed when a man could not feel free to walk up to a woman, compliment her and propose a business arrangement such as a photoshoot...
The following are some ruminations by a woman...lamenting how it is that men cannot step up and be "men"...
================================================== The first thing that popped into my head is the small talk. I know you think that is what you are supposed to do but why not say "I saw you walk by and I know this is odd but I would like the chance to get to know you better. Here is my card.. if you want to call, great. If not, have a wonderful night." Please then dont linger around her and her friends. Leave it with her and let her wonder. If she found you attractive she might just call. Actually I would...and im a hot girl. Girls love to be flattered in a quick non embarrassing way. Dont flatter with "youre so beautiful..yadda yadda" just screams desperate. Even though that sounds funny..it does to a girl. Simply flatter her by your confident action. A guy who has the balls to do that is awesome and Id be intrigued. I dont want some guy pondering over my camera when i know that isnt what he even wants to talk about..does that make sense? So id rather him just come out with it. Its more attractive to women. If you send me a pic ill tell you what girls think and if youre attractive open and honestly. Its not all about the attractiveness...as you point out. Its honestly about confidence..coming out with it ..standing tall..no BS...takes their women as they want them. I know it sounds corny..but we are still the cavemen and cavewomen who desire a MAN without pick up lines. Just get to the point. Cavemen didnt roam around the bush and idle by and say.."my nice loin cloth you have there..where can i get one". lol. He said "Me man..you gorgeous woman i want". Grrrrrrrrr.
I had a guy once stare at me at Q's in Santa Monica. My friends all noticed too. He was pretty attractive..I would go out with him. He would stare, kinda go for a smoke when I did. I left after he said "can i have a light" and then talked about my purse. I was like oh well..he didnt say it. So i went to this bar about 10 miles away. Guess who shows up about 30 minutes later? Yup. Coincidence perhaps..or just wanted to make his move. After about another half hour of this guy staring...I went up to him. I said I know youve been watching me, I do find you attractive but cut the stalker shit and here is my number lol. He took it and gave me his and admitted shyly. He laughed and we talked the next day. But honestly, he lost me when he couldnt make that move the first time.
Keep going..youll find one. Im hot and Id talk with someone who came up to me because im normal..and not prissy. We are out there! Its a numbers game.
That's very interesting input and some great and fascinating ruminations. I've heard similar things from a few of these girls and it's fun to try and watch these things from their side of the fence. I'm always asking Kristin, Kirsten, Liv and the others how they feel about being approached, etc. and I think many would be surprised by some of their thoughts.
-------------------- Respectfully,
Ben
Malory in Signature Posts: 5772 | Registered: Oct 2004
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posted
Hey Ben that's SO sweet, those pictures are so cute! I completely forgot about them. You never let me see them before. I just downloaded both so now I've got copys. You know those were some of my favorite mules I wore that day. Still love em!
I love those mules also. I haven't been very good at providing copies of photos but you know, I don't even sift through half of them myself. I'll try to be better at that in the future.
-------------------- Respectfully,
Ben
Malory in Signature Posts: 5772 | Registered: Oct 2004
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posted
Sorry to breach board ettiquette by bumping an old thread but the girl chicking burritos is just too damn funny.
So let me get this straight she thinks you're weird for complimenting her feet but here she is screaming like a banshee and chucking burritos.
This one sounds like a real neurotic. All the girls Ive ever complimented on their feet were very welcoming about it though and were happy just to get noticed.
She sounds like either a neurotic or like some vapid hag who is dumb enough to actually believe her own unattainable princess fantasies.
-------------------- A warzone is no place to eat tacos. Posts: 520 | Registered: Dec 2005
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You said it (and you've stated it well)! My experiences in the realm of complimenting girls on their feet have been just exactly as you've described for yourself.
-------------------- Respectfully,
Ben
Malory in Signature Posts: 5772 | Registered: Oct 2004
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posted
hey Ben thats a real strange story. bet your glad i didnt act that way when you met me! me too or else id have missed out on a lot of adventures. you did the right thing & handled it the best you could Ben.
posted
Ben,you should talk to President Bush and let him know about the Burrito`s of mass destruction you were attacked with!!! Posts: 66 | Registered: Jan 2005
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